Colorful weeks

Couple of pretty horrible weeks and hence no posts for some time now ...

Most of the pain was due to office where one particular person is being a real pain in the you know what. Let me paint you a picture ... you go to office, do whatever you gotta do on time and with somewhat sincerity, your boss is not complaining, you go home. Isn’t this a nice picture? Dull but hassle free ... but wait a minute ... let me add some color to it. Picture this ... someone is not too happy with this. He just can’t digest the fact that you can work in isolation and work well. He comes over to your place and start asking you questions which frankly is none of his business. You try to dodge them to save the confrontation ... but noooo ... he gets on your nerve and ultimately you lose your cool and all hell breaks loose. Let me now really mess this shit up ... it turns out that this “color adder” guy is also your manager (you obviously don’t had any idea about that ... yet). So you work for two guys now and you didn’t know about it. Later on, you are made aware of the new “color” and you realize that what you did now turned out to be a big bad mistake. You swallow your pride (better than being hungry staying at home) ... and take the full responsibility of the mess. So you see what kind of shit I am in ...

Anyways ... these last couple of weeks ended well ... last Friday, met Sonla and Horny (opps Sonal and Honey ... ehehehe) ... had couple of drinkies ... and this weekend met Gauri and Ganji (opps again ... Gaurav and Vihan ... cause he is hair deficient ... ahahahahahaha ... BURNNNNNN) and had couple of more drinkies ... some sanity in this insanity.

I’m not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman!

Being Vegetarian

While coming to office I saw this horrendous act of “humanity”. A total WTF!!!
I am a hardcore vegetarian and cruelty towards animals hurts me physically ... emotionally ... physiologically ... any other ally one can think of. Couple of moths back I was watching a show where they showed how meat is obtained. Firstly, they showed the old fashioned way to cut an animal into meat pieces. The cow/pigs are butchered live ... one of the most shocking things that I have ever seen. Then they showed how “modern” ways ... whereby a pig is given an electric shock so that he becomes numb and then the pig is hung on a hook and a butcher slits the throat. I get nightmares just by imagining that sight. Oh how have the humanity progressed ... we even kill an innocent animal in a civilized manner. Stuff like this makes me even more determined to never eat any meat.

Whenever I go abroad ... the first question that people asks me that what you eat to survive. I always say that if you look for it ... vegetarian food is not that hard to find. The choices may be limited ... but enough to keep you honest. Many of my friends enjoys meat (couple of them are born to eat meat only ... ahahaha ... yall know who you are). I distinctly remember that once ... I and a very good friend of mine (Verma) ... were hanging around and suddenly he saw a meat shop. He went inside ... ordered some pork slices ... and ate it. I was ... like OMFG ... that was wrong on so many levels. I don’t know what got into me ... but I was totally shocked and pissed off. I scolded him like a school teacher ... gave him a serious talk down. Couple of weeks after that, he told me that he quit eating meat. Don’t think that he did it because of my outburst ... but he did quit and he is a veggie till date. NICEEE !!!

Being born in Marwari family, I was raised a vegetarian. I did try to dabble with non-veg but I could not go beyond eggs. I would be honest ... it tasted good but the feeling of guilt was so strong that I could not try it again. This is perhaps the only rule that I have followed throughout my life (so far ... so good). Would I be tempted to eat meat ... hell yeah ... that darn thing looks so delicious ... but would I be able to eat it ... I don’t (and hope) think so.

Dreams and Aims

Yesterday, while going back home ... I bumped into couple of my colleagues (Vidhi and Amit) in Metro. During our conversation, a question popped up that what is the aim of life. Hmm ... got me thinking. Vidhi said that her aim of life is not much ... she has a decent job ... earning decent salary ... and down the line she would get married and settle down. Don’t get me wrong ... I am not being a sexist ... but this is usually the typical answer of most Indian girls ... or at least most of the girls that I have talked to. Either ways, this seems kinda ... ummm ... what do you say ... you know what I mean ... not very enthralling (to say the least). I said to her that this cannot be the aim of life ... it is a routine of life ... but cannot be aim of life. She said that what else is there ... you would also get married ... have kids ... and that is basically IT. I said NOOOO ... not it. But then when I was brainstorming ... I realized that I too do not have any/many aim(s) of life. I have many dreams but don’t think I can call them aims. Or can I ... lemme think ... hmmm

Growing up, I had a dream of making it big (I mean be stinking rich ... so stinking that Armani produces a scent with my name on it). When I was young(er), I know what I have to become but did not had a clue about the means. As I got wiser, I was fascinated with the idea of having my own chain of pubs. I would call that an aim of life ... but I haven’t made any effort towards achieving it ... so it’s still a pipedream. So what next ...

I’ve been to NYC and I loved that city. If there is any place on earth that I really (reallllyyy!!!) wanna live, it has to be NY. Although it doesn’t seem like much ... but it is an immediate aim of mine. And I am working towards it ... its just that I had the worse luck in the world ... it might take a while before I visit my dream city. So yeah ... a short term aim of life is getting back there.

Kewl ... so I have the ball rolling ... what else ... what else ...

Another aim of my life is to bring joy in people’s lives ... specially my family and near and dear ones. More specifically ... when I be rolling in dough (sooner the better ... ahahahaha) ... I would like to adopt my ancestral village and transform it for betterment. It’s a small village with no real amenities. I remember as a kid I use to hate visiting that place because there were no proper roads ... no telephones ... no electricity (I don’t count 2 hours of electricity as electricity) ... no education ... and above all no TV (c'mon a kid needs to see his cartoon shows). But my father loved that place ... I always wondered why. He use to go to the chaupal (an area where prominent villagers gather) ... talk to elders ... play cards ... have cuppas ... conversations after conversations ... fun. Now that I have grown older (a little) I can see why. Like every village, the comradery among fellow villagers is very heart warming ... everyone knows each other ... basically an extended family. Its hard to find the love and affection inside the city walls. So I would like to bring a change in their lives ...

There are plenty of other small and big things which I have in my mind ... I know a lifetime may be too short to achieve all of them. But I would try ...

Rakhi '09

Don't you think Rakhis are getting prettier each year?

Happy B'day Mom

Its been so long ... innit. Yeah ... I was just being me ... lazy ass. Plenty of stuff happened in the mean time ... specially last week it was my mom’s birthday. I surprised her with a gift and she was so very pleased. The happiness on her face was priceless. I’m not the one with gifts in my hand for an occasion ... never been and probably never will be. That is why she was even more surprised that I ... I ... bought a gift for her. When mom told this to my sis ... she was also blown away. Felt good ... I should do this more often for my loved ones.

Sach Ka Saamna

A new reality show is on telly these days ... Sach Ka Saamna (Facing the truth) on Start TV. It is a franchise of hit (and controversial) American show named The Moment of Truth. Not long ago ... Star World used to air it ... and I use to watch it religiously. The show asked some really uncomfortable questions and I as a viewer was totally engrossed in knowing whether the contestant was telling the truth or not. Some of the questions were so personal that it was uncomfortable to even watch ... I don’t know how the contestants must had felt. But ... the lure of money makes us human ... well human beings. I won’t say that the show was entertaining ... but it was intriguing for sure. The show was definitely not for immature viewers ... and I remember that I used to shoo away my cousins whenever this show was on telly. I even asked my mum not to watch it. Once my cousin told me that what if this show comes on some Indian channel ... in Hindi ... and I laughed at her. I told her that Indian channels are not bold enough to have a show like this ... and I did not believe that Indian audiences are mature enough to watch it. Look who is laughing now ...

Anyways ... couple of weeks back I caught the promos of this new Hindi reality show ... and I was shocked to see that the moment of truth is indeed happening on Indian television. I was surprised to say the least ... but then I thought they can’t ask uncomfortable questions. They don’t have the “balls”. I thought lemme bask in the glory and I thought I would have to opportunity to say “I told you so”. So I sat down and watched it with my family ... and boy it was really uncomfortable. I could not believe my ears ... the questions were tough as nails. So far, I have caught of episodes and most uncomfortable questions were more or less dealt with sexual relationships and infidelity. I am sure that the show will ask few innovative questions as well ... like they do it in the original version ... but judging by the start of the series ... I must say that I am happy to be wrong. Finally, Indian channels are taking some risks ... and that’s a good thing for Indian viewers. Its sad though that almost everything that you see on telly is a copy or franchise of some western show ... but it’s a start and I am sure that Indian channels will come up with ground breaking shows in near future.

6 months @ ION

Recently I completed 6 months at this new office (now not so new) and my probation period is over. Not surprisingly, I got good reviews and now I am a “full time” employee. Yippie!!! I had a video conference with my manager (who is in London) ... and today they gave me the letter of probation period completion. Phew !!!

Now is the time to look back and take stock of the situation ... am I happy with the work and stuff ... I would say yeah ... work is boring but its kinda good. The job is safe which is a big deal in recessionary time. The only thing is that the office culture is really boring ... but then you win some and you lose some. The work is one of the most technical thing that I have ever done ... so in that sense I am learning new stuff almost everyday. Do I see myself working for another 6 months here ... I would say that I wont die sticking around. On the other hand ... would I change it if any (good) opportunity comes along ... I would have to say ... why not. LOL. Its all about the Benjamins baby ... in my case its all about Bapu (it’s the face on INR) ... ahahahaha. I would like to travel a bit more than I am doing right now ... and I guess things can happen in this regard ... may be sometime in medium term. The only major pain in the ass is travelling ... but then it’s a constant issue since I live in the city and my kinda work is in the suburban region ... d’uh.

RIP Michael

So finally Michael is resting in peace ...

Yesterday’s memorial service was perhaps one of the most emotional events that I ever witnessed ... experienced ... in my life. Still can’t believe that Michael is dead ... yesterday’s service was an apt way to provide closure to millions and millions of his fans ... and most importantly ... the Jackson family.

It’s so heartening to see that MJ still has a massive following ... millions and millions of people mourning in grief ... celebrating his life. His music ... fresher than ever ... still topping the charts ... speak volumes for the man ... simply known as the King of Pop. I would say that Michael was simply the greatest entertainer that ever lived. It would take a super human effort to achieve anything close to what MJ accomplished. I won’t see it happening in my lifetime at least. God must have broken the mould ...

It’s just so sad that the whole world connected with him (again) ... when he died. For the better part of the last decade or so ... people really questioned him and his abilities. For yesterday night ... the whole world seemed to be in awe and grief of his sudden demise. I wish Michael could see this ... this would have really healed his soul.

I still get goose bumps thinking about yesterday’s memorial service ... and I won’t say that I didn’t felt like crying while watching it on TV. I never knew MJ personally ... his loss felt personal. I never thought that I could feel so emotional ... human nature may be.

Rest in peace Michael!

The Hangover: Funny movie

Yesterday night, AnnuMan and I went to see “The Hangover”. Couple of days back AnnuMan pinged me and said – dude, we got to see this flick. Most of his friends in US had seen it and everyone loved it. I knew about the movie that it is doing well in states and its general buzz was positive in media. So I said, yeah let us watch it on big screen. We planned to see it on Friday (yesterday). The same day Gaurav went to watch the movie with his team and he called me up. His exact words were – dude this is my new favorite movie. Hmm ... another big endorsement ... made me more curious about the film.

I reached home at 8:40PM. In about 5 minutes, AnnuMan came ... parked his car ... I took out my car and we took off. The show was of 9:50PM and the route is usually very traffic heavy. Above all, we did not had tickets booked in advance, so I pedal to the metal and reached at the theater (Naraina PVR) in just 20 minutes. Just as we reached in front of the parking lot, AnnuMan jumped from the car and ran to grab the tickets. I parked the car, and saw AnnuMan checking out the gals there ... I asked did he got the tickets ... he smiled and said ... yeah. Phew ... that was easy. Now that we had all the bases covered and 40 minutes to kill ... we decided to grab some ale and bite. We went to nearby retro-bar and had couple of Kingfishers and Paneer Tikka. Ummm ... yummy.

We finished snacking and entered the auditorium just in time. Movie time now !!! The hall was full ... a very young and vibrant crowd. Niceeeee !!! The movie started with Phil (Bradley Cooper) calling Tracy (Sasha Barrese) and telling her that they lost Doug ... and the fun begins. The film revolves around three main characters (groomsmen) who go to Las Vegas to have a bachelor party for their soon-to-be-married friend Doug. 4 immature people in Las Vegas ... a bachelor party gone wrong ... booze ... rape drugs ... and the hilarity follow. The movie was side-splittingly hilarious and everyone in the hall was laughing throughout the length of it.

The movie ended at around 11:30PM. While I was about to took the car out of the parking lot ... I saw some old man was beating the hell out of the parking attendant there. I went near and saw that the car door had a big dent (the parking attendant must have dented it while moving the car for space). The old man was cussing and beating the hell out of that poor attendant.

It was my first movie at theater this year ... and I'm glad that I saw it on big screen. Good movies deserve big screen experiance. Oh what a fun night ... booze ... funny movie ... popcorn and Pepsi (diet affcourse ... ahahahaha) ... a perfect Friday evening.

Section 377

Delhi (and other major cities across India and world) witnessed “Gay Pride Parade”. Where I stand on the issue of homosexuality ... hmmm ... hard to answer. I consider myself fairly liberal and believe that if a person is happy with another same sex person ... so be it. I think (and believe) that people should have the freedom to choose anything ... unless the desired thing is illegal or immoral. Last time I checked, homosexuality is a crime in India (Section 377 of IPC). In addition, majority of Indians believes that homosexuality is immoral and unnatural.

I saw this poster where a gay person was holding a placard which proclaimed that he was “Proud to be Gay”. Funny thing ... his face was hidden behind a colorful mask. I can’t understand what is there to be proud of? Do we straight people hold such parades and announce that “We are proud to be straight”. We don’t because we don’t have to proclaim the obvious. The newspaper also displayed a picture where two gay men were shoving their tongues into each other ... honestly ... get a room. Just to be politically correct, no prominent personality objected to the parade. I also believes that people are brainwashed in thinking that homosexuality is OK. The media is so biased in the favor of it that it makes me feel that most of the media people are ... queers. Have you ever read any newspaper column or seen it on television which claims that homosexuality is not all right? I haven’t ... specially the television ... which has gone to such extent that it feels like they are propagating this. Every coin has two sides ... and it is media’s responsibility to show both perspectives.

You must be thinking that I am a homophobe and I detest gay people. On the contrary ... I don’t. I don’t hate them and neither do I outright reject the concept. Lets face it ... homosexuality is for real and who am I to judge people for their behavior. It is illegal all right ... but the laws are really old and they need to keep up with the times. As long as both partners are wise (and old enough) and are in consent ... good for them. If they want to marry ... so be it ... let them marry. Let them have all the rights that a normal couple have. However, when it comes to raise a child ... I am firmly against it. I don’t think a child should be raised by homosexual people. The reasons are obvious ... a child’s mind is very impressionable and they grow up according to their upbringing. I am not sure that homosexual parents can raise a straight child (chances are very slim anyhow). Let the child have the freedom to choose what they want to be ... they don’t need to be forced.

As I said earlier ... that as long as the couple (straight or gay) consists of consenting adults ... they should have the right to choose a mate. Come to think of it ... why does society look down upon those who have multiple partners? Well ... I guess that is a topic for another post ... perhaps.

Farewell MJ

What a dreadful start to the day ... King of Pop is no more.

Since it was Friday, I was happy while coming to the office ... even though the Metro was crowded than usual ... I was still happy and listening to the radio (usually 95FM) ... and suddenly Sharthak (RJ) announced that today they would be paying tribute to MJ because he passed away. And I was like ... WTF ... this can’t be happening ... I must have misheard him. So I switched the channel to 102.6FM and there I heard “Bad” ... and I then knew that MJ is truly gone. The RJ re-confirmed it. I was pissed because the RJ showed no emotions ... he simply said that today MJ died and we are gonna play few of his songs ... and then took some requests and laughed. I mean ... OK ... being a RJ ... you gotta entertain people ... but why do they forget that it is only because of the musicians their channel is in the air ... they should have showed some respect ... and this is MJ we are talking about ... the biggest star/entertainer/musician of this century. Anyways ... I guess I was pissed more because of the news that MJ is no more ... what a bummer.

I was (still am because music will never die) a big MJ fan. When I say I am a fan, I mean I am a fan of his music. I never judged him for all the allegations or his eccentricities ... they don’t concerns/bothers me. I loved his music and I am not ashamed to admit that. I still remember that when I was really young and living in a small village ... where no one ever heard of any English music ... I saw his album “Thriller” in front of the cassette player (those were the days ... ahhh). I curiously picked it up and saw this strange looking man on the cover of it. Probably I was 6-7 years old then ... and I never heard any English song nor have I seen any English music album. I looked around and I asked my mom who is he ... she said she don’t know ... may be Kishan Kaka (my uncle) bought the cassette ... he must be knowing. Anyways ... I played the cassette and I was instantly hooked. Never mind I could not understand a single word he was saying ... but such was the magic in his music. As time went by ... and I shifted to Delhi ... the first album that I bought was ... you guessed it right ... a MJ album ... “Dangerous”. And today I have every hit MJ song in my collection.

Lately his life was in turmoil ... with child abuse court cases ... his albums not doing well ... his surgeries ... his change of faith (he died a Muslim if you care to know) ... things were not looking up for him. Whenever you talk about him or even about his music, people raised their eyebrows ... but why must they forget that the guy gave some wonderful music. He was (and forever will be) known as “King of Pop” for a reason. Why do people judge him for all the other stuff ... which frankly is none of anyone’s concerns. He was king and forever will be ... and it would be hard to get someone like him anytime soon. Recently he tried to put his house in order by planning a series of shows to get him out of debt troubles. He named the tour as “This is it” tour ... how ironical. Well the man is gone ... but I know his music will live forever.

Rest in peace MJ and thank you for the music.

Funny English - II

Continuing my "Funny English" series. I saw this picture on CNN-IBN website.

God knows everything

Hahaha ... but ... oh wait!!! ... hmmm ... how did he?

Alert people and a clever driver

Its been a while since I blogged ... nothing special happened ... and nothing excited me to write. Above all ... I had loads of workload at office too. Today was also not much fun ... but couple of minor incidents happened and I thought what the heck ...

While going to office today, at Shastri Park metro station when the metro stopped ... I saw a unclaimed small bag lying on the floor ... soon almost everyone in the coach started to stare at that bag with suspicion. Someone pulled the emergency alarm and within minutes, the metro staff came and checked the bag. It was a lunch bag ... someone might have forgotten to carry due to rush ... someone is going to be really mad at lunch time ... ahahahaha. Anyhoo ... it was good to see such awareness among people and the rapid action taken by the metro staff. Kudos to them ... not everything is lost yet ... there is still hope ... people do learn from what they see on telly and newspapers. India is a victim of terrorism ... and there are so many incidents when such unclaimed baggage exploded ... claiming so many innocent lives. And I guess Delhiites do take pride in their metro ... they try to keep it neat and clean ... and they r alert for anything that looks suspicious. I hope all Delhiwallas learn some manners while getting on/off the metro ... that would be cherry on the cake.

Another interesting thing that happened today when I was leaving office for home. Due to workload ... I stayed at office more than the usual and when I got out ... I took an auto. He asked for 100 bucks and I somehow managed to negotiate at 60 bucks (we Indians are darn good at bargaining ... ahahahaha). Soon we got to the highway and ... ohhh !!! horrible traffic jam. The entire highway was choc-o-block ... dust ... noise ... absolute chaos. The auto driver turned back and said ... see I told you ... this is not a 60 bucks drive ... see the traffic. I said calm down man. I come via this route daily and 60 bucks are very reasonable. He smiled and turned his attention back to driving. Suddenly he took a left turn ... now we were on a small sideway which was leading to the slums nearby. The road (sorta ... more like dirt track) was really spine breaking ... really bumpy. After 5-6 minutes of hell ride, we got on the highway again. Surprise surprise ... the traffic which seemed never ending ... was behind us. I was impressed by the auto driver’s knowledge of roads and shortcuts. He saved at least 30 minutes ... good job. When I got down at Anand Vihar ... I gave him 65 bucks ... I wanted to give him 70 instead of 60 (the original price for the commute) ... but I needed 5 bucks for the bus. Anwyays ... he was happy and so was I.

I was free for a day or two some days ago ... and I made a small application in Excel which shows stock price in real time ... so keep watching this space ... I will post the application soon.

FTW

God: My disbelief

Since yesterday, one question is encircling my mind ... god ... is he for real? When I reached home yesterday, I saw my mom totally glued to the telly and she was watching a mythological soap opera. I asked her to switch the channel to somewhere more useful ... like the CNBC, but she refused. And I asked ... c'mon let me watch CNBC which can actually be of some use. She insisted that let her watch today's episode ... and I gave in. I said OK ... if that serves you good ... then enjoy. My mom was not very amused at my attitude towards god. She told me to have some respect for god. Hmmm ... well I have nothing against god ... because I don't really believe in him/her/it. For a very long time, the concept of god has been a question mark for me. I know I can't prove that god doesn't exist ... but neither can anyone prove its existence. I am one of the minority who doesn't really agree to the idea of a supreme being controlling our lives. I have heard numerous theories on god and its existence ... but I still can't comprehend ... if god exist ... then who made god? If someone created god ... then shouldn't that person be a bigger god? And who made him??? This question have no definite answer. Can't we be open to the theory of co-incidence. May be the universe was created ... just by chance and god has nothing to do with it. I am pretty sure about existence of life beyond planet earth ... and I am pretty sure that they don't worship Jesus/Allah/Ram/Whatever ... so if they don't worship our gods ... then why do we? Do we have different sets of gods for different planets? People say that how can you assume that there is life beyond earth ... and I laugh at them. There are uncountable stars and planets in this universe and to assume that we are the only one is nothing less than stupidity ... I would say downright human arrogance.

Whenever something good happens we praise the lord ... whenever something bad happens ... we pray to the lord. Why??? Why can't we praise/cuss ourselves for our deeds? I am a conspiracy theorist ... I believe that people invented god and mythological literature to keep human beings in check. They presented the concept of heaven and hell so that human beings don't go astray ... be peaceful ... and above all ... god fearing. From childhood ... we are programmed to believe that if we do "good" deeds good things will happen and if we do "bad" things ... the lord will lay his vengeance upon thee. If god is so vengeful ... how is he any better than me? Why do I have to keep on praising him to earn "nirvana". Why do I have to dedicate my life to god to go to heaven ... why can't I live my life the way I want to be ... without the fear of consequences. A god who takes revenge ... who punishes ... is not a god of mine.

With all these ... I still hope that god should exist. If anything ... the concept gives us hope when things are tough ... it gives us something to blame when things don't go our way ... it gives us happiness when things are good. We practically relate everything to god ... so I really hope that he/she/it exist. Else it would be such a shame ... 6 billion people ... 6 billion foolish people.

Peace out !!!

Lets connect

Just came back after meeting Verma and Seth ... high school buds. Verma is in Delhi on a break ... he is doing his MBA. So it was time to catch up with the life. We met at the old market place where we used to hang out after almost every day when we were kids. 3 old buds meeting after god knows how long ... felt great. Its not like that we don’t keep in touch ... we chat ... talk over phone ... exchange e-mails ... scraps ... all the internet social networking one can think of. But to meet them in person ... nothing can beat that. No matter how much we achieve in electronic communication ... nothing can come close to in-person meeting. A simple “hey man whats up” in person is much more fascinating than pages of e-mails or hours on phone. You can truly judge a person’s happiness and excitement when you see the smiles ... the ever changing expressions on a human face.

We human beings are an intriguing species ... so many socio-emotional layers. We are what we are because of our ability to convey and interpret emotions – good or bad. It drives almost every aspect of our lives. No matter how advance we become ... we will always be human first. It makes us tick ... it makes us make sense of it all. Let me explain it in terms of my personal experience – when I was in NYC, I used to talk to my family every day. From my hotel room, I used to chat (even video chats) ... it was almost as if I was in Delhi itself. But that’s the catch ... it was almost like I was there ... but it really wasn’t the same. I may not talk at all when I am at home ... but the mere physical presence brings a very different feeling. I can’t put the feeling in words ... but I hope you get what I mean.

It’s a privilege to be a human being ... it’s a privilege to have friends and family. It’s a privilege to convey and interpret emotions ... lets try to connect as human beings. Lets not always send SMS/tweets/instant messages ... lets meet ... lets connect the way it is supposed to be.

xoxo

Three Zero: The Beginning

OMG !!! What a weekend (and its aftermath). The relevant world seems to be experiencing some amazing (and sweeping) developments.

First and foremost – yours truly is finally in the 30s club ... an exclusive but somewhat depressing company (d’uh!!!). I would be honest ... I wasn’t too happy about it. On 15th night ... I literally felt like crying. At exact midnight, I received a call from my sis and bro-in-law (expectedly ... the first ones to wish me) and then I heard the voice of my niece ... she also wished me in her own kiddy lingo (albeit forced by my sis ... ahahahaha). My niece is just 17 months old ... she doesn’t care if it’s my birthday or whatever ... she kept on yelling “neenu neenu” (translation ... I want to sleep ... ahahahaha). But when she realized that my sis is having none of it ... she reluctantly said “yappy budday” (translation Happy Birthday ... cho sweeeeeeeeet). If only life can be so cute and sweet all the time.

16th evening ... mom made some delicious pizzas ... I cut a cake (no candles ... thank you very much) and celebrated my life (or should it be AGE) altering birthday with my family ... quite and peaceful. The next day ... it was time to go out and celebrate with some good friends ... and by that I mean ... reason to booze out ... ahahahahaha. So I called up Sonal, Honey and AnnuMan (did not came because of his dental appointment).

16th was general election result day as well ... and beating all the pollsters ... the Congress led UPA gained an unexpected majority. Wuhuu ... I was supporting them ... not because they are the most honest party or whatever ... but more because there is no real alternative. And we need a stable government to handle these turbulent times.

On 18th, the stock market seemed more excited than a kid in a candy store. It raced ... no zoomed ... no went berserk. For the first time in history of secondary markets, the Indian Stock Exchange (both BSE and NSE) hit the upper circuit breakers (twice). Less than a minute of trade happened and the entire day has to be suspended. It is nothing sort of a miracle if you ask me. Who in their right minds would have predicted this ... and that too when the whole world is in recession.

Finally some good news from neighboring country ... Sri Lanka. They ended their decades old civil war by eliminating the militant organization – LTTE. India is surrounded by a very bad (and most dangerous) neighborhood. It is in our favor that some part of it may return to normalcy soon. Amen to that ...

So ... all in all ... a very exciting last 3-4 days. My 30th started with some positive news ... hope the good times just keep on rolling like that.

Cheers !!!

Three Zero: Prelude

The forthcoming weekend is probably the biggest weekend of this year (so far) because of couple of reasons ... first, second, and third (ahahaha) ... yours truly will touch the (dreaded) milestone of 30 (damn!!! damn!!! damn!!!) ... and India will know the results of marathon general elections.

30 ... three decades ... thirty ... three zero ... that’s a big number isn’t it. I seriously thought that I wont grow up to be 30 ... I would be young forever (really). As usual, my air castle got “Trojaned” by my Achilles ... TIME. People say that age is nothing but a number ... they are fooling themselves. I haven’t found a single reason to cheer ... I just hope that I don’t cry when I cut the cake. It seemed like yesterday when I was in school ... now when I look back ... it feels like a pipedream. Time to wake up and smell my Corex.

I don’t know what I would feel on 16th ... may be I wont care ... may be I would be calm and happy (pretend) ... or may be I would simple loose my mind. The probability of the later is high ... ahahahaha. I will have to find ways to deal with this reality ... a reality which is worse than a nightmare. I urge all of my friend and well wishers ... don’t wish ... don’t try to spin this into some dose of positivity pill. I know this is my malady and I know I will have to find the cure for this itch.

Goodbye sweetness, Goodbye assuage
Welcome moroseness, Welcome malaise
Leaving behind a rudderless life
The road ahead ... still filled with strife

xoxo

Inhospitable hospital

Doctors ... hospitals ... these words evoke many reactions. Some thinks of them as tools for betterment and a healthy life. For some, they represent illness, sadness ... basically depression. I have a positive outlook towards doctors and hospitals. I regard doctors as the noblest professionals ... and hospitals as holy as a temple/mosque/church. But slowly and slowly I have started to feel little repulsed and perturbed by doctors and hospitals.

A year back, I watched a Michael Moore documentary – Sicko. The documentary was on American health care system. There was on particular scene which left an indelible impression on my mind. In that scene, a guy who accidentally cut off two fingers tells his heart breaking story of how he was asked to choose between reattaching the $12,000 ring finger or the $60,000 middle finger. He was not insured ... so he goes with the ring finger because that was within his budget (and may be he was romantic at heart too). Can you imagine such horror ... if that choice is to be made by you? The hospital could have attached both the fingers ... but they didn’t because he could not pay for it. There was another scene where a doctor (works for an insurance company) confesses that he denied a man an operation and thus caused his death. Stinks isn’t it ... reeks of money and profit.

A similar case of money spinning scam happened to my uncle. He had a fever which was not going away. He consulted his brother (a doctor) and he advised him to get it checked up at a good hospital. He pulled some strings and got my uncle admitted in Apollo (one of the most prestigious hospitals in India). After a barrage of medical tests and checkups, the doctors diagnosed that his chest is filled with water and they would have to pump it out. They operated (sorta) for 3 hours ... used syringes to pump out the water. To my uncle’s bemusement, the doctors at Apollo told him that they misdiagnosed him and there is no water deposit. OK ... so far so good ... but then my uncle asked what really the problem is. They told him that he has TB (tuberculosis). Another round of tests ... and it turned out that he is not suffering from TB either. Another misdiagnosis ... goddamn!!!

My uncle is well off and he went thru every procedure that the doctors suggested. However, the tests and medication were not cheap. Even after spending all this money and going thru mental anguish, the doctors at Apollo are still clueless about his condition. He is now getting treated at some other hospital. But come to think of it ... can you imagine such incompetent doctors at the premium hospital? They were shooting in the dark ... and the hospital was minting money out of my uncle’s misery. Makes me wanna puke.

These days people are scared of falling ill ... not because they are afraid of being unhealthy or whatever ... but more because they would have to visit the hospital. People these days see the hospital as a place to extort money. They pray for their health so that they don’t have to deal with the doctors and go thru all the random tests. The commercialization on health care is absolutely mind numbing and I warn each and every one of you ... check your hospitals before you check in. Even if it’s an Apollo.

Special Mention: Ankur's Apollo Experiance

Long weekend

4 days of holidays ... wuhu ... but they passed so quickly

7th was the election day in NCR ... I couldn’t vote because my name was not on the voter list. DAMN !!! I changed my residence 6-7 years ago and still they haven’t updated my name on the new locality’s list. I was able to caste my vote last time around (5 years ago) because my name was still on the older list. Now I guess they have re-checked the names and unfortunately my name was struck off. In fact, I applied for my name transfer to the new list ... but it somehow did not appear on it. Well ... typical of governmental work ... slow as snail. May be next time around ... in 5 years ... they will put my name back on the list and I would be able to exercise my democratic right (and duty). Its strange because I do possess a valid voter ID, an updated passport, and the all important (and mandatory) PAN card ... but still I was unable to vote because my name was not on the freakin’ list ... mind blowing. I was pissed because I was unable to get my finger blacked ... but in democracy there is always a next time. That’s why ... democracy rules. Take that all you socialist and dictator ruled countries ... ahahahaha.

8th and 9th passed by in a flash ... I have taken a paid leave on 8th because that will prolong the weekend. On 10th, I and Horny (hehehe ... actual name Honey a.k.a. Arjun) attended Mahi’s (Sonal’s newly born daughter) lunch party. Anshuman was also supposed to join us ... but he did not ... bloody drunkard. I called him at 11 a.m. He did not pick up his phone ... in fact he had it switched off (copied that from me ... ahahaha). I called him again at 12:30 and 12:45 ... still he did not picked his phone. I knew it that he must be in usual weekend super hangover ... and probably wont come. Anyhoo ... finally he called at around 1 and told me that he wont be able to join us. What a surprise ... didnt saw that coming. Actually I suspected this would be Annuman’s response to a “non booze lunch” party. He did the same when DD invited us for the clinic opening ceremony ... again no booze ... again Annuman conveniently skipped it. I can bet my last rupee ... if Sonal’s party involved booze ... he would be there. OK ... back to Mahi’s party ... met Tanushree (Sonal’s wife) and Sonal’s mother there ... they were seeing me after quite a while and both of them told me ... “you have lost SOME weight”. Felt niceeeeeeeeee ... when people comment on your health (in a good way) ... all the hard work that you put behind it ... become worth it.

Tomorrow is another boring workday ... and I am already worried. There are no official holidays for the next 3 months ... DAMN IT. Guess those paid leaves (still have 15 in the kitty) will come handy in this dry (literally) season.

Rain and chaos

After sweltering weather for about 2-3 weeks, yesterday Delhi-NCR region got some much awaited rain (and hailstorm as bonus). The day started normally ... heat and dust ... but by 3‘o clock, the skies turned dark and grey. I was sitting on my chair ... working (hehe ... really I was) ... and when I looked out the window ... the dark clouds brought a smile on my face. I don’t like summers ... specially Delhi’s summers. It’s hot ... humid ... sometimes absolutely inhospitable. The temperatures can touch 48-49 degrees (hot enough ... ahahahaha). And I am talking about Celsius ... not Fahrenheit. For all those who count in Fs ... it’s nearly 120 degrees (whopping). April experienced an unprecedented heated weather ... breaking 50 years records (stupid global warming ... d’uh). I was hoping and praying that things calm down a bit ... and yesterday rain gods heard my prayers. It rained ... and at some places ... hailstorms.

But something’s gotta give ... with every good thing ... how can bad stuff be left behind. Rain bought chaos ... the traffic went for a tailspin. The roads were chockablock ... traffic was as slow as snail. When I reached ISBT (to catch Metro), I was told that the Rithala (my train) route is not functioning. Due to rain, the line developed some fault (I guess short circuit in some transformer) ... and the line is completely closed. Ufff ... what a bummer. I still got to the platform and ... boy o boy ... the platform was a sea of people. They were still waiting (hoping would be a better choice of word) for the train. The clock kept on displaying 6 minutes as time for arrival (next train). Ahahaha ... I guess to provide false hope ... what a herd. Funny thing ... no body seems to care that whenever the time for the next train becomes 1 minute ... the clock starts showing 6 minutes (reset).


I asked the Metro staff and he told me that the line is closed for the past 3 hours. He then received some information on his walkie-talkie ... the train is coming. Wuhu !!! Finally the train came ... but I could not got inside. You have to be a superman to get past the huge crowd ... so I though that I will wait for the next train. I kept on waiting ... 15 minutes ... 20 minutes ... but the next train did not come. I lost my patience and got down ... went straight to the underground level and caught the Jehangir Puri metro, which dropped me at Azad Pur station. Its 15 minutes drive from my place ... and my Mamaji (maternal uncle) was already waiting for me (I called him from the train).

One rain ... and the entire city get crippled.

Hmmm.... fried rice

Weekends means complete shutdown of my system ... I usually don’t do much ... just lie down on my ass and do absolutely nothing. Like most weekend, I was just lying ... watching the telly ... eating ... and yeah you guess it correctly ... doing nothing good. In the evening, I asked mom what is she planning to make for dinner. She told me that she is going to use the leftover white rice (that she made for lunch) and will make me some fried rice. Nice ... I like fried rice ... well I like anything rice. Suddenly, I got up and told her that I would help her to get the dinner ready. She was pleasantly surprised ... partly because I simply am the laziest person in the world when it comes to do house chores ... and partly because I don’t know anything about cooking. The only thing that I can make is tea ... and can make it very well ... thank you very much. Apart from it, I can’t cook to save my life. Being a foodie ... sometimes I feel ashamed of my cooking handicap. And I am a really fussy eater too ... I can’t eat everything and everyplace. Sometimes I can really be a nightmare when it comes to food. I have decided to learn cooking ... but I never really made any effort to learn it. Today when mom told me about fried rice ... I asked her how hard it is to make it and she told me that its really easy ... so I though what the heck ... why not start learning ... the easy way.

Like she told me ... cooking fried rice turned out to be easy ... and quick too. I started with heating three-four teaspoon of soybean oil in a कड़ाही (wok) and add राई (mustard seeds) and जीरा (cumin seeds), one teaspoon each. Add a small bowl of कटे हुए प्याज (chopped onions) and हरे मटर (green peas). You can also add शिमला मिर्च (capsicum) and/or गाजर (carrots) ... anything that goes well with rice. Now add some हल्दी (turmeric), लाल मिर्च (red chilly powder), and some नमक (salt), as per your taste (I added one teaspoon each). Heat everything well for about 5 minutes (or till the onions gets little brownish texture). Now add the leftover चावल (white rice), add some नींबू का रस (lemon juice) and धनिया पत्ती (parsley) ... mix everything well.

Voila !!! Nice ... healthy ... light and awesomely tasty fried rice is ready to be gulped ... yummy. You can eat it with पापड (popadum) ... like most Marwaris do. We had enough rice to make a dinner for 3 out of the leftovers ... it tasted great and mom didn’t had to slog for hours too. Nice, easy and quick ... mission accomplished. Now that I know that cooking can be fun and not so hard ... I think I will learn few more dishes.

Hell ride

What an agonizing end of day ...

I usually take an auto-rickshaw till Anand Vihar, followed by a 15-20 minutes bus ride to Dilshad Garden. From there, I take the Metro to reach home. Ahhh sweet home ... which becomes even sweeter after a hard days work. This is my normal commute routine (morning as well as evening). Today, I decided to go back home via bus ... big mistake.

I used to commute via bus (till ISBT and then Metro), especially in the evenings. But the Dilshad Garden route is 15-20 minutes shorter so I usually take that route. Even though traveling via bus means I don’t have to change as many modes of transportation ... those extra 15-20 minutes to reach home don’t go down well with me. Anyhoo ... just for a change I tried the bus yesterday ... and I was pleasantly surprised by the timings. It took me almost same amount of time ... and I didn’t had to change autos and buses to reach the Metro. So I thought that what the heck ... lets do the bus again. As usual ... my luck ran out on me ... within 10 minutes of its journey, the bus met with an accident with a car. To be fair, the bus driver was not at fault ... the stupid car driver was in wrong lane and collided (not badly tough) with the bus ... even though the bus driver tried his best to steer the bus. Boy ... once the car touched the bus, all hell broke loose. The car guy stopped the car in front of the bus and started cussing the bus driver. Things just didn’t ended there ... incidentally the car belonged to some local politician. The car guy called him and within 15 minutes a SUV came ... and out came the local netas (politicians) along with a machine gun clad policeman. Although they didn’t created a scene ... but you can feel it ... they meant business. Somehow the bus driver convinced them (gave them his boss's number ... put 2 plus 2 together) and we were on our way ... again.

The pain was not finished there ... what do you know ... we got stuck in a deadlock traffic jam. At a crossing, the traffic light was not working. What else you need for a complete mayhem ... a broken traffic signal. No wait ... I forgot to mention ... there were no traffic policemen either to control the situation. Ahahahaha ... now the picture is complete ... total anarchy ... absolute chaos ... you gotta feel amazed at darn luck sometimes. After plenty of yelling and honking, the bus driver managed to squeeze the bus and finally I reached ISBT Metro station. I looked at the time ... I was 40 minutes late. Fuck !!!

I tried to calm myself and started to climb up ... was practically running on the escalator. But could not reach the platform on time ... watched the train go pass by ... damn it ... now I was totally pissed. I could have caught the train but due to those assholes on the escalator I could not. Why do people block the entire escalator ... leaving no room for people to climb up. When a person is going up the escalator (walking) ... have some goddam courtesy and leave some fucking room. Gosh ... I was so angry that I literally wanted to kick their asses. Anyhoo ... I did not ... wuss. I looked up and saw that the next train is 4 minutes away. OK ... not so bad. I was waiting in the queue ... the train came ... the doors opened ... and the asshole behind me decided to break the line and rush in. I just had enough of shit for the day ... I totally hulked up ... and gave him a piece of mind. Why do people have to rush in ... just for the sake of seat? If you are old or a girl ... I can understand ... but if you are a grown ass man ... there is no excuse to rush in. 15 minutes of standing won't make you paraplegic.

Things like these make me feel ashamed ... people not leaving rooms on escalators ... rushing in to grab a seat in Metro. I have experienced the subway in NYC, the tube in London, and the Bangkok metro ... believe me ... those public transportation carry more people than Delhi’s Metro ... but I have never seen such rudeness ... such indecent behavior. When will Delhi’s people grow up???

Finally, I reached home ... a thought crossed my mind ... I got down at ISBT ... but most of the commuters do not take the Metro ... they travel the rest of the journey in the bus itself ... and judging by traffic, I can safely assume that they would have reached their homes ... at least 60-70 minutes late than usual ... I feel pity ... may god bless them with a good night sleep.

Even after all this ... I will take the bus tomorrow as well ... see I am "try anything twice" kinda guy ... and for me first impressions are not always the last impression. LOL !!!

Cheers ... time for me to go now and take a well deserved nap ... will see you all soon. Chao !!!

Why I hate IPL

IPL is in its second week and so far I haven’t written anything about it ... partly because I don’t care about it ... and partly because I really don’t care about it. OK OK ... I know this is kinda contradictory statement since I really like Cricket. Sometimes ... enough is enough. There are so many things which I don’t like about this whole idea of IPL. First and foremost, contrary to its name, this year the league is being held in a foreign country ... a total deal breaker for me. C’mon it is INDIAN Premier League ... not English ... not South African Premier League. I know it is being held in South Africa because of elections back home and all that blah blah ... but I think it was Lalit Modi's (IPL Commissioner) ego which took IPL out of India ... I hope he looses his job soon.

Last year, Lalit Modi came out with an “amazing” idea of a league which will change the Cricket scene in India. Well ... the idea was totally copied from EPL ... even the name is copied ... lets not even get started on this. So the media hailed Lalit as a cricketing god who will change the way world sees cricket. Fair enough ... if something like this can make the game popular, I am all for it. But when I came to know that these teams would be “owned” by business houses/Bollywood idiots ... I was totally pissed. I smelled the stink ... it is nothing more than a ponsy scheme to milk money out of cricket crazy Indians. I can’t support an “owned” team ... c’mon I am not a stupid European who supports privately owned Football clubs ... even more than the national team.

The team consists of 7 Indians and 4 foreign players. However, there is no clause in team composition which makes it mandatory to have Indian players from the city (or region). Also, to incorporate foreign players in your city teams ... well ... I can never understand ... how on earth am gonna cheer for them. “Go Glen ... win it for Delhi” ... fuck no. I won’t ask a foreigner to win it for my city team. To top it all, half of the teams are led by foreign captains ... ahahahaha. Yeah ... I will support you Shane ... win it for Rajasthan ... its same as Sydney .... the only difference is that it is NOT. Arghhhhhh !!!!! Even the so called local players are not so local. Sreesanth ... a Keralite ... playing for a Punjabi team ... well ... you get my drift. One of my friend told me that how does it matter if he is from Southern India ... isn’t he an Indian. Well ... I am all for an united India ... but just to justify (if I try to) my city loyalties ... I can’t support an out of towner. He is as bad as any foreigner. Which makes my point ... that city based loyalty sucks. I believe in one nation ... and that’s why the only team I support is the Indian team ... not Delhi ... not Jaipur but an Indian team ... played by the Indians ... played for India/Indians.

The idea was to give local people a change to get involved and learn about the game and how it is administrated. That includes coaches, umpires, grounds men, support staff, etc. Well, most team are led by foreigners ... coached by foreigners ... supported by the foreigners. Lets take an example of KKR ... the owner treated his coach like a god. So much so that he kicked an iconic player like Saurav on his behest. Bravo .... SRK ... I say well done. I never liked your stupid movies ... but now I don’t even like you. And John ... you can go and scru yourself ... for being a complete ass.

Huh ... I know I got a little bitter ...

The teams are owned by big corporate houses (and partly owned by Bollywood idiots). Now cut me a slice of that ... even if I look past the obvious idiocy of foreigners playing for local city teams ... the owner fact just make me hate IPL even more. The whole IPL is nothing but a way to mint money ... from stupid cricket crazy Indian public. I don't understand why the cricket board is parting money with the business houses when it can have it all. Huge money is being generated and sadly none of which will be used for the betterment of cricketing facilities in India. All of it will end up in the bank accounts of these business fatcats. The numbness of using everything for commercial benifits could literally be seen on player's outfits. Just count the number of logos on a player’s shirt/bat/trouser ... if you can count all of them ... you really are smarter than the fifth grader. The fact that Bollywood is also in it ... in a big way ... makes me go nuts. It was bad enough that they are ruining the movie viewing habits of average Indians (yeah most of/by Bollywood is full of shit) ... now they have to ruin the nation’s beloved timepass ... oh ... I will have no mercy on them. I would be very honest ... I really gets sadistic pleasure out of watching sad Bollywood owner’s faces when their team looses ... ahhh if only all of life's joys were so sweet.

IPL is being telecasted by SET MAX ... well ... if the thing was already not horrible enough. If there is a broadcaster who just don’t know how to telecast a cricket match ... its MAX. They have made a mockery of the great sport. What on earth is a bitch like Mandira doing at a cricket stadium ... she has no business what so ever to host a match. Well to be honest ... she has no business to be on TV either ... but that is another story. She has no idea about the game ... but still she keeps on yakking on and on about it. Well Mandira ... do all us a favor and just die so that we don’t have to see you on TV. MAX is obsessed with her ... she ruined 2007 world cup ... and I was kinda glad that our team bowed out early from the competition ... at least I don’t havta watch TV anymore ... and no more Mandira. It doesn't end with her. The other jokers in the bunch are has-been TV "stars" (allegedly) who have as much knowledge of cricket as I have of quantum physics. Another pet peeve of mine regarding MAX is their 5 ball over theory. I know ... you must be saying that cricket is a 6 ball an over game ... but I guess someone forgot to teach this to MAX people. They keep on airing commercials by cutting the 6th ball ... no matter if that ball took a wicket of someone scored a six. I simply hope that MAX incurs heavy losses in IPL so that they bow out of the telecast scene.

Gosh … I am proof reading my post and I feel like I have ranted enough … well to conclude … I don’t like the idea of IPL and I hope that it fails miserably … so that Cricket can be saved from such smut.

Restarting health routines

After a long time, I have started exercising. It’s been a while since I worked out. Regular exercise is on my list of “things to do this year” list. 4 months have passed since I made that commitment ... and it’s about darn time to honor it. There is a saying in Hindi – jab jaago tab savera (its morning when ever you woke up). So from today, I decided to start working my butt off.

Since my sister is here ... mom tries to cook really nice meals all the time ... and by nice Indian/Marwari meal I mean ... really heavy stuff. Although the meals tastes like heaven, but its fattening. I gave into the temptation and started to eat like I used to eat before ... eating unhealthy food ... and eating a lot. I started to feel little heavy ... although I haven’t gained much weight ... but still there is some uneasiness. So before things go really bad (and believe me ... with me ... its very much a possibility), I decided to it seriously. I was postponing the exercise thingy for a while ... but now that sis is going back this weekend, I thought it’s a good idea to start exercising and stop eating unhealthy food. By the time she goes, I would be in top gear of my diet and exercise regime.

So hoping that I keep up the tempo and get back into top shape. Goodbye food ... welcome pain ... ahahahaha.

Chaws Wedding

Yesterday, DC a.k.a. Chaws a.k.a. Nitin Chawla, got hitched. A week back Chaws, along with AnnuMan (Anshuman), phoned me and asked me to come to the market. I was surprised as it was freaking 11:15 at night. Anyhoo ... I thought that these guys must really be eager to meet me ... ahahahahaha. As expected ... it was not the case. After all the wasups and screw u’s, Chaws suddenly told me that he is engaged and getting married in a weeks time. WOW ... back the truck up ... I mean. What !!! Chaws getting married ... well it was kinda surprising cause he never dropped any hint that he will take the plunge ... anytime soon. I obviously did not believe him at first cause ... hey c’mon its Chaws ... he always kid around ... the joker in the pack kind. How can you trust that guy ... but then he showed me the invitation card. Man !!! this is getting really serious now ... he indeed is getting married. I then looked at the name of the girl ... and no surprises there ... it is Swati (also known as Billi ... which is the shorter version of her "real" name ... Swat Cat ... ahahahaha). Chaws and Swati were seeing each other for a while. I and AnnuMan congratulated him ... by pulling his leg ... off course.

So the day finally arrived ... I talked to AnnuMan, Dudette (Ruchi), and Deepak about the timings ... as in when to crash the wedding. AnnuMan was my ride and he told me that he will pick me up at 9:15 PM. I decided to move a little early from the office so that I can have some time to get ready for the wedding. I moved outta office and boy it took me 2 and half hours to reach home. Since yesterday was a major wedding day, there were plenty of marriages happening and due to which, the traffic scene went for a toss. Anyhoo ... as soon as I reach home, I went straight to my washroom to shave. Suddenly AnnuMan called and told me that he would be little ... all rite by me since I was also running a little late in getting ready. Finally, AnnuMan came at 9:40 and we reached the venue at 10:15. Ruchi, along with Mandy (her hubby), was already inside the venue. After some time, DD (Deepak) along with his wife and kid arrived, followed by Sarda (Gaurav Sarda). He came alone ... and told us that Kanda (Vivek Kanda) might also join us soon. He could not come because of some work. Anyhoo ... we all went straight to Chaws who was blushing like a little kid. He didn't lost his wit though ... ahahahaha. Like when Dudette asked him to show his Mehndi ... she was trying to find Swati's name in it. Chaws told her ... try to find it. Actually the name was hidden somewhere in the Mehndi design ... Ruchi was really eager to solve the name puzzle. Chaws teased her by saying she won't be able to find the name. Ruchi kept at it ... and after a while, Chaws asked her ... are you sure you would be able to find the name? She said ... yeah ... and she said ... here is W ... and here is T. To which Chaws asked her ... are you sure ... she said ... yeah. Then Chaws asked her ... are you sure you are even looking at the correct palm ... ahahahaha. Even under pressure ... Chaws still got it ... ahahaha.



Soon the Varmala (exchange of garland ... a Hindu wedding custom) happened. It was held atop a raised stage. Billi reached there first with the Garland in her hand ... but Chaws was climbing slowly. Its kinda naughty custom for a groom to keep her bride wiating ... but Billi did not wanted to have any of it. She told Chaws ... Come, itna bhaav kyon khaa rahe ho (Come, why are you riding the high horse ... roughly translated ... ahahahaha). Then he looked down and saw Dudette and AnnuMan smiling ... seeing which, Chaws burst into laughter on the stage ... and he got close to Swati quickly ...and both of them exchanged the Varmala. Billi showed whos da bosss ... Hehehehehe !!!

After that, we had our dinner. It was a buffet and Sarda (true to his build) had 4 grains of Pulao. The amount of rice was so small that even a bird will feel hungry if it ate that pulao. Seeing Sardas plate ... AnnuMan joked ... Abe itna kyun leliya (Oi ... why did you took "so much"). To which DD said ... bhabhi ji ne bola hai ki itna hi khana hai (Sarda's wife instructed him to eat that much only) ... LOL !!! DD on the other hand, had his plate so full that you can literally find every dish of buffet in his plate. Oh ... how I wish I had a picture of both plates ... ahahahaha. But DD being DD ... he said to his wife to get some dish from the buffet ... I asked DD ... bhai kuch reh gaya tha kya (bro ... did you missed something) ... hehehehe.

So after the dinner it was time to give the sagan (wedding gift). We all gathered around and snapped few pics. Since I am older than Chaws, Dudette joked that I should strike an Aashirwad pose (blessing) ... LOL!!! It was 12:30 midnight ... and we then decided to head back home. A great evening. Wish the couple all the best ... Cheers.

Friends updates

Great things happening to my friends ... Sonal became a father of a baby girl couple of weeks back ... Chawla getting married in couple of days ... Anshuman moved to a new house ... Deepak’s wife opened her first private dental clinic yesterday

Amid these happenings ... some sad news as well ... couple of acquaintances in GL got the pink slip ... well ... that’s life isn’t it ... sometimes its full of hope and cheer and sometimes it can be a real bitch.

I wish all of them good luck and best wishes for the new events :-)

Office bunk

Yesterday I called in “sick” ... even though I obviously wasn’t ... ahahahaha. I didn’t had any other stuff to take care off at home ... I just took the day off cause I wanted to. Yeah ... seems kinda irrational ... specially for an IT guy in India ... but then what the heck ... I never followed any norms ... did I ... ahahahaha.

Quote from Office Space
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

At home, I lazed around ... played with my niece ... watched TV ... went on to net and surfed ... talked to mom and sis ... very mundane stuff. However, it’s been a while since I did such mundane tasks. Life these days have become very robotic ... I wake up ... go to office ... work ... come home ... sleep. In office also, I don’t have much to do ... if there is work ... good ... if there isn’t then I space out ... because my office don’t have any recreational facility to pass the time. Weekends come and go ... by the time I come to my senses ... they are almost gone.

Quote from Office Space
So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

It feels weird when you just don’t go to office for no apparent reason ... I am not very used to this feeling ... but yesterday it felt really nice. Earlier, I used to go to office even when I was under the weather ... or had some urgent personal work ... I rarely skipped the office. But since I joined this new office, I just stopped caring so much ... ahahahaha.

Quote from Office Space
I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.

Now that I have tasted the blood of doing absolutely nothing ... I think I will get sick more often now ... ahahahaha.

Quote from Office Space
We don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

My cute little angel

My little angels ... my favorite persons in the whole wide world ... my sister and my niece arrived on Friday. Even though I met them in December ... it seemed like I haven’t seen them for ages. I was particularly waiting for my niece ... who recently celebrated her first birthday. She is a non stop bundle of joy ... an absolute cutie pie. Now that she is little over a year old ... she is now able to express her thoughts via words of gestures. Like when she is feeling sleepy ... she would say “Ninu”, which is a cuter version of the word “Neend” (sleep). If she doesn’t like anyone ... she would simply waive her hand .... gesturing bye bye ... ahahahahaha.

I like to snap pics of her ... and it’s really easy to get great pictures of her because whenever I point the camera towards her and the camera’s red light falls on her face ... she smiles ... laughs ... and you get an absolutely adorable Kodak moment. Unlike other kids ... she don’t like to play with dolls or toys ... she likes picking up stuff and then throw them away ...like spoon or coasters. She does it when anyone is watching her ... she would simply pick up the spoon ... will wait until anyone is watching her ... and when she knows that she is in spotlight ... she would throw it away ... and smile in such a fashion that even a rock would melt. And boy ... is she smart or what ... I took her outside the house (its on the first floor) ... and as soon as I got down the stairs ... she stopped smiling ... I roamed on the neighborhood streets and she started crying ... mommy mommy. Funny thing was, when I get back in front of the house she started smiling ... I was amazed ... she is so small and she has barely gone out of the house but she still recognized it. She knew mommy was inside the house. However instead of going in the house ... I walked straight and she stopped smiling again ... started crying for her mom. I turned back and again when I was passing my house, she pointed towards it and started smiling ... I was just floored. She likes to climb the sofa ... the bed ... anyplace which is little high ... but she is so careful that whenever she is struggling to get on or off the high place ... she would start crying for help. She would jump from there only if she sees that someone is there to catch her ... ahahahaha.

She just keep all of us busy ... the entire weakened I didn’t went out ... and didn’t even felt like going out ... the two days went ... in a flash. I just can’t wait for the evening ... darn office .... Grhhhhhh

Cost cutting gone too far

In every office ... every where ... you hear a term – cost cutting – it is omnipresent. Today when I was pulling out the paper hand towels after taking a leak in office washroom, I was shocked to see the quality. I had to use twice as much to dry my hands ... and I started to wonder ... is this measure any good. How will the office save money ... if in place of 2-3 paper towels, people start using 4-5? Sometimes cost cutting just goes too far ...

You know when the cost cutting measures have gone too far, when ...

• you need the entire roll to wipe ...


• urinals are made – pay per use


• you are given a hand-held fan ... just in case


• phones are made – pay per use


• you are given candles and match sticks ... just in case


• attending the “various uses of sun light” presentation is made mandatory


• office internet is charged on hourly basis (initially) ... eventually by minutes used


• you are charged for incoming calls on office phone


• the admin and HR team calls you 100 times ... each


• all the options in coffee machine produces hot water


• the soda machine goes out of service ... mysteriously


• you are told to use your hands to drink water


• the fountain in the office lawn is the only source of drinking water ... the fountain has an “excellent” recycling system though


• the office cab breaks down ... mysteriously ... on every weekday


• “packages” are sent via e-mails


• on any special occasion like birthday, instead of a bouquet, you are given a pass to visit office garden ... you are not allowed to pluck flowers in the garden though


• the admin team looks for an economy ticket – in DTC bus


• at the time of appraisal, you are actually given a pack of peanuts


• you are charged for that peanut pack


• you are told to do “pair programming” in literal sense


• you are allowed to play Holi ... in MS Paint only


• instead of office décor for Diwali, the IT team runs a network job to install “Lightening” screensaver ... the day before Diwali, the screensaver is activated


• the X-Mas tree is decorated with all the unclaimed lost/found items


• you see street food carts in your cafeteria


• the salary slip PDF is actually an unparseable XML file


• amount, equivalent to your monthly salary, is “mysteriously” wired to your office

I urge you all to contribute to the list (in the comments section) ... I too will keep on adding new innovative cost cutting measures ... cheers

SuperStar Night

Its been long since I had any fun ... until Ganja called me on Wednesday and we planned a usual SuperStar night out. I asked Gaurav and Payal about having a Friday night out ... Gaurav agreed instantly. However, just like me, he too was kinda sceptic about the plan ... because last time when we all met, we planned for some kinda outing ... which didn't materialized because of Ganja and Payal's "official" problems.

Anyhoo ... on Friday, Ganja informed us that he won't be able to make it because of some "office work". Well ... what can I say ... I wasn't surprised by this last minute bailout ... its becoming a habit of Ganja and Payal. Speaking of Payal, she too said that she would only be able to join us at 9ish. I was obviously angry ... in the meantime, Gaurav called and asked what to do now. I asked if he is ready for SuperStar ... he agreed. He asked me to meet him outside GL at 6:20. I reached GL on time ... Gaurav and Mansi (Gaurav's wife) came out of the office and we all got in the car. Garuav dropped Mansi at the CSM mall where she went for a movie ... and we 2 went straight to SuperStar.

As we entered, the waiter there recognized us and we asked him for our usual sofa seat. The seat was already reserved ... but since it was us ... he said we can take it. WOW !!! We ordered beer and some food to eat ... and asked for the pool table. The table was free ... but since it was far from our seats ... we asked the waitor to shift us to the table near the pool table. We played pool ... drank and ate ... and suddenly we realized that its almost 9pm. So I just called Payal ... she said she won't be able to make it. Huh !!! Anyways ... I said OK ... no problems ... and we played some more pool ... drank few more rounds. I lost the pool games ... 6 to 2 ... well the fact of the matter was that we had fun. In the meantime, Mansi called and told Gaurav that her movie was over. So we got out ... picked her ... and went to home. Gaurav dropped me to the Metro station ... and I reached home at 11pm.
Although ... it wasn't the usual SuperStar night ... but it was still fun.

Solar powered LIGHT TORCH !!!

Consumerism at its best

Who needs a analog-cum-digital clock? This is a moron proof watch ... the time in both the cases would be same though ... ahahahaha

Buy blue and white (!!!) shirts? Where is the freakin' pink one? What on earth is goin' on here ... ahahahaha

Solar powered light torch ... ahahahahahahaha ... go on ... make your own jokes ... deadly ... ahahahahahaha

Funny English

Happy Holi (belated)

Yesterday night, I saw Outsourced on Star Movies. Recently, Star Movies have started to show Indian themed movies. This was my second such movie (watched The Namesake a month back). Outsourced was your typical Hollywood’s outlook on India and outsourcing. Like most of such movies, this one too was a comedy movie. Most of the humor is based on Indian people ... especially their accent and lack of Americanized English knowledge. There were couple of scenes which just had me in splits ... like the one where the protagonist (Todd ... everyone calls him Toad ... even the driver holds a placard at the airport with Mr. Toad written on it ... ahahaha) goes out of the house on Holi (obviously he didn’t knew about it) ... some kids throws color on him and his office colleague (named Puro) comes to his rescue. He says ... you should not have ventured out on the day of Holi ... and the protagonist answers ... Holy what .... Ahahaha ... I laughed so hard that I almost woke up the entire neighborhood. The other scene which made me laugh my arse off was the climax scene where Todd wishes Puro best of luck (Puro is going to China for training the workforce there) ... Todd tells him ... break a leg ... Puro asks what does that phrase mean ... Todd explains to him that he is wishing him well ... to which Puro replies ... I wish you break both your legs while going back to US ... ahahahahaha ... hilarious !!!

I know that stuff like this seems very filmy ... but believe me it is not the truth. You may be wondering that how can an educated BPO guy didn’t know about “break a leg” ... I know of few people myself ... who are well educated ... working in IT (in fact they are in US right now) ... and still their lack of English knowledge is outright funny. Lemme quote few of hilarious nuggets of one particular person ... I won’t name the person I’m talking about ... but for writing sake lemme call him MadMax.

• MadMax calls his Mocha ... MoCHA


• Whenever he doesn’t understand anything, instead of saying “What’s that” ... he says “Wassup”


• Instead of saying ... we are going for shopping ... he always says ... we are going for PURCHASING. In fact, many people terms shopping as purchasing ... ahahahaha ... just like calling a wallet ... purse


• Once MadMax referred Barista as a pastry shop


• Once MadMax and a gal pal were just hanging around ... they saw a person wearing cool shades ... the gal pal says ... “Nice shades” ... to which MadMax said ... “Yeah good colors ... yellow and green ... (he was refereeing to that guy’s T shirt). Obviously, the gal pal stopped hanging with him after that .... Ahahahahaha ... Deadly !!!

Fun in work ... not fun at work

Just came out of a meeting with the center head. He called a meeting (basically a presentation) with all the new joiners at ION. The presentation was meant to discuss the work culture and management expectations.

Like every organization, we were told to work hard, be professional and diligent. There were few things that made sense to me. First, he (center head) told all of us to have fun in work – not fun at work. He said he can’t understand the concept of people having fun at work. Stuff like, playing games or just hanging around. We all are coming to office to work ... and we are getting paid for our time and services. So if we are working fully and giving high quality stuff, we justify the salary or any increment/bonus thereof. If we don’t work hard ... or don’t have much work, then we should assess the situation and act accordingly. He also added that if people don’t have much work, then they should escalate it. There is no point in wasting their time in office ... they should simply raise an alarm and go home. This way they would make a statement to the management and the management then will have to plan better. Also, he said that he cant understand the concept of “fun at work” – stuff like frequent team outings, playing games in free time, personal interaction with people ... etc ... etc. He emphasized on having fun in work ... and said that this fun at work concept is a conspiracy of big organizations that have to retain the people of bench. Firms like Infosys or TCS have a good number of people “on bench”. So to keep them motivated, they need to have such fun filled policies.

I agree to most part of the presentation, except for the last bit. I don’t think that fun at work is a conspiracy or any such thing. There might be some truth in it that people do need to be motivated/chilled when they don’t have much to do. I hate to admit it, but the truth is truth ... its bitter. We all are simply getting paid for the services we sell. The organization buys our services in return of salary. Its simple economics. When we go out to buy apples in market, we try to choose the best apples. Even if there is a spot on any apple, we chuck it out of our basket. So if the same logic is applied in organizational level, firing underperformers doesn’t seem such a drastic step. No one wants bad apples ... in it. Also, we get irritated with the fruit vendors if he tries to charge extra ... because it is our money. Similarly, no organization is paying the salary just for having fun ... except a few like entertainment ... ahahaha. Trust me ... I am the one who believe in having fun in and at work ... but the economic downturn is throwing bitter truth pills ... and like it or not ... we all need to digest it. It’s for our own good.

Stomach blues

It’s good to be back ...

For the last 4 days, I was almost bed ridden due to severe stomach problems. On Friday night, I attended a friend’s wedding ... and you know Indian wedding is all about food and rituals ... I ate the oily and fat rich food and my body reacted badly to it. When I was going back to home, I felt sick in the car itself. I knew it something has gone wrong ... but was not worried since the next two days were off due to weekend. Strangely, things were not so bad in the weekend ... but when I was about to leave for office on Monday, my stomach started acting really badly. So I decided to skip the office (yippee...who likes Monday anyways). Well ... all hell broke loose ... I spent the entire day to/fro the bathroom. Tuesday came, and again I got ready for work. I boarded the bus ... after 15-20 minutes I felt nauseated and was sweating really badly. So, I asked the driver to stop the bus. I took an auto from there and came straight to home ... went to the nearby clinic to measure the BP ... it was low. Things were not looking good ... so I spent the entire day on the bed (watched the India-NZ match as well ...which was a bonus) ... took couple of medicines and hoped for a better tomorrow. Luckily, when I got up this morning, I felt OK ... and here I am in the office ... doing hard work ... and some blogging too ... ahahahahaha

Cheers

The curious case of Recession

Yesterday evening, when I got off the Metro, I saw Honey and Ashish (GL colleagues) also getting off. Just as we met, Honey told Ashish that this man (me) knew what was coming in GL (I recently quit GL and joined ION). I said how come? To which Honey answered that people are getting laid off like the leaves from a tree. He added that these days even the star performers are not spared. If anyone is warming the bench, s/he is asked to leave the organization. I was sad to hear that ... but then to be very honest; it didn’t felt that bad because I’ve been hearing such news – almost daily. The recession is causing real havoc these days ... every day I hear/read news of massive layoffs across all organizations (especially in IT). Very recently, I saw breaking news on CNBC ... Sapient laid off 500 people. One of my friend, who is in a big telecom domain IT company ... he told me that the organization has asked everyone in Delhi office to relocate to Banglore office or drop the papers. Another friend of mine, who is in finance domain IT company, told me that her office has started to shut down the entire company on weekends (for which the workers are not getting paid). Another friend of mine, who works for a Fortune 500 company, told me that her organization has eliminated the HRA component from their salary (HRA is a very big component !!!). Stories like these are getting very common everywhere ... and not just in IT companies only. My brother in law works for a jems (precious stones) company. Their industry is also laying off people ... cutting salaries ... making unpaid working days. If I recollect all such stories, you would end up scrolling pages and pages. Everywhere you look these days, you see worried faces ... worried about bills ... worried about livelihood ... worried about practically their survival. Never in my life (am almost 30 now ... d’uh), I’ve seen such gloomy situation ... and so many worry lines on people’s foreheads.

In India, the recession started to make its presence felt last year. But this year (we still are in the second month), the things are getting bad to worse. Before this crisis, nobody really knew what recession/depression meant. As they say ... you live you learn. The world faces crisis situation every few years ... its cyclical ... but none as severe as this one ... since may be 1930’s depression. But then, things have really changed since 1930. The impact of this crisis has jolted the entire economics of the world. As we are progressing, all the economies in the world are getting coupled. Its like a chain, if there is a weak link, the entire chain has to bear its consequences. The greed and recklessness of few Wall Street players is making people of main street cry. This crisis has made all of us commoners realized the real importance of savings. We all heard the phrase that we should save for rainy days ... but c’mon how many of us really took it to heart. We spend like kings on things that we probably didn’t even want (let alone the need for them). We all had credit/debit cards at our disposals and we spend like there is no tomorrow. The government and market regulators kept their eyes closed ... relied upon the proven theory of demand and supply. Well ... time to wake up now ... rain check. Today’s economics is not as simple as demand and supply ... its much more complex than we think it is. There are tools/instruments which can tweak this simple theory, which resulted in this mess. So much so, that not only organizations, even countries are getting bankrupt – Iceland is a shining (read disheartening) example. We, India, are in a better position (just a little) because our economy is not as free as other developed western countries. We have massive red tape and regulations, especially on banks and markets ... which seemed like pain in arse a while ago ... doesn’t seem all that bad now. In addition, we Indians are really thrifty when it comes to spend money. We are a poor country, so we know the importance of money ... little more than a suburban family in ... lets say ... in Connecticut (ahahaha). Even then, we too are in the grip of this hurricane ... so you can just imagine the countries on the warfront. I wish this end soon. There must be sunshine after this rain.

I guess we all learn important lessons from this ... never take anything for granted ... NEVER. If you think this cant happen to you ... THINK AGAIN.