In the year 2009

We are at the brink of another new year ... a year which holds so many promises ... so many potentials. Like each new year, this year too I’ve set few small goals ... few milestones which I want to achieve. You may term them as new year resolutions ... every year I set few aims that I try to achieve. I am not a planner ... but as I am growing older, I’ve mellowed down a bit. Gone are the days of restlessness (or recklessness) ... I’ve started to appreciate a bit of order in life. Anyways, I still don’t have a long term future plan – personally or professionally. To tell you the truth, I’ve absolutely no idea what I’ll be doing in next 5 years or what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m still looking for life answers ... but heck ... I’ll take it whatever comes my way. Life hasn’t been an ally ... it always teases me ... putting me in precarious positions ... and I am left to fight all the demons. People say that it feels good to come out of predicaments ... trust me ... I’m getting pretty sick and tired of it. I am tired of feeling insecure ... tired of all the worries ... tired of all things that makes me lose my sleep. I never plan ... because they never come good ... never. Instead, I make small (most of the time ... meaningless) goals ... and feel happy if some of them (or any) comes true. So here I go ... these are few of the things that I wish I achieve this year

Specific

• Get at least 1 professional certification
• Buy a nice digital music system
• Watch at least 4 movies in theater ... even if I have to watch alone
• Buy 2 decent pair of shoes
• Must break the 80 kg barrier ... even if it lasts a day

General

• Put a simple financial plan in place ... start saving money ... earn extra cash
• Be more accommodating ... try to be polite and try to listen to others (just try)
• Curb loosing control ... temper down anger ... especially at home
• Must do at least 1 nice thing for family
• Must take a week long break ... to a place far far away
• Do one really wild thing ... anything out of the ordinary
• Dedicate regular time for self upgrade ... learn new things which might be useful in career
• Start exercising regularly
• Learn cooking (or at least try)... even if it’s a simple dish
• Try not to be critical of all things Bollywood (just try)
• Cut down on television and internet surfing
• Stop cussing while driving ... drive like a girl or an oldie ... calmly
• Start seeing someone ... or worse ... get married

Will evaluate on the eve of 2010 ... hopefully I’ll achieve all of them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ... Cheers !!!

Dudette and Ghajini

Yesterday evening, we (I aka Jajs, Mohini aka Mohans, Anshuman aka Annuman, Deepak aka DD, Nitin aka Chaws) went to Ruchi’s (aka dudette) house. Mandeep (aka Mandy – dudette’s hubby) is not well for the past couple of months. At such a young age, his kidneys are not working properly and he needs regular dialysis. Dudette is working from home for quite a while now so that she can take care of him. We all can only imagine the kind of pain and anguish dudette is going through – that too at such a young age. Hence, we decided to visit them ... also we thought that they need to unwind a little. After a long time, the GL gang got together ... met Mandy ... he was cheerful and so was dudette (as usual). After a while, we (I, DD, Annuman, Mandy) went to a nearby eatery and ordered a nice dinner. Got the dinner packed and headed back home ... where the girls and Chaws (usual for him ... ahahaha) were setting the table for dinner. We ate ... joked ... pulled each other’s legs ... had quite a bit of fun. At around 11:30, we headed back to our homes. On our way back, we got a SMS from dudette ... she messaged to say thanks for the nice evening and they felt good. Mission accomplished.

Today, my BS team planned for a team outing ... movie (Ghajini) and lunch ... niceeeeee. Even though I’ve quit GL, they asked me to join for one last team outing. Since the show time was 10:30 AM, got up early in the morning. Caught the metro at 8:50 ... could not believed my eyes ... it was cold and the fog was really dense. It was so smoggy that I couldn’t see anything beyond the metro’s track flyover (Delhi’s metro is elevated). Reached Noida (Great Indian Place mall ... Big Cinema) sharp at 10:30 ... Viabhav was standing at the gate so that I can enter the hall (he had everyone's tickets). Just when I entered, the start credits were being shown. The movie is a remake of a hit Tamil movie (of same name), which itself was “inspired” by Memento. However, I really don’t care about these details ... am just a normal moviegoer ... ain’t a movie critic/reviewer. The movie was hyped as the biggest blockbuster of 2008 ... although I can’t deny that in terms of simple box office collection ... it may turn out to be the highest earner, but I'm not too sure that it is the best film of 2008. However, it is not the worst either. The story was kinda fresh ... liked the first half because of the lead pair’s funny romantic track. Asin (lead actress) looked good and she seemed confident enough on screen. Aamir (lead actor) ... being Aamir ... gave everything to the movie. I heard that he trained for 13 months to get a ripped bod for this movie. One thing is for sure with Aamir, if he is doing a movie, it would be worth a dekko. The second half and the songs could have been better ... but then nothing can be perfect (even if it is an Aamir Khan movie). All in all, it was good enough ... would give it 3 stars.
After watching the movie, we all lunched at Pind Balluchi. Hmm .... Nice Punjabi food .... yummy!!! Then we all headed for the office .... me too because I had to submit few documents for the final settlement paycheque from GL. Met couple of friends there ... got a lift back home from Mohans. She dropped me at usual place ... and I walked back to home. On my way back, I took the usual short cut via District Park ... man it was fun. Since the park is pretty big and open, it was really foggy ... could not see anything in front of me ... and it was pitch dark ... not a single soul near me ... nice winter evening walk. Finally, it has started to feel like winters ... thank god.

Adios GL

Today is my last day in GL. After 3.5 years, I am saying goodbye to a workplace, which was full of professional experiences (more good than bad) ... made so many good friends ... learned so many things ... changed my carrer path from TW to QA ... good stuff ...

Just getting the final NOC form signed by various departments (Admin, IT, Finance, HR, Manager) ... and by evening I will be all set to leave GL one last time as an employee.

Incidentally ... writing this post from office ... one last time before they terminate my mail/internet account ... so goodbye GL ... you been the best working experience so far ... hope we cross our paths again ... someday.

(Sulk and Cheer !!!)

Back from Mumbai

Am back from Mumbai ... was there to attend my niece's birthday party ... she is 1 year old now :-)

Getting tickets in this festive season, for a place like Mumbai, was a challenge ... I planned the trip 40 days in advance and still I couldn't get reserved tickets. As a result, I had to book my tickets in special holiday season Rajdhani. I boarded the train from Hajrat Nizamuddin station and immediately I felt that this ain't the usual Rajdhani. Anyways getting the reservation was good enough. Luckily I got the side lower seat, which meant that I do not have to deal with 5 other commuters. I just have to face another lonely soul ... and luckily my co-passenger was a young gal ... her name was Urvashi. I noticed BITS logo on her sweatshirt and asked if she is indeed studying there. She said yes and told me that she just finished her majors in Public Health. Since I also studied at Pilani (did little bit of schooling from BHS), we instantly started talking about the place. Soon we developed good rapport and started talking on various other things. Not only was she beautiful, she was intelligent (has to be if you are a BITS student) and fun to talk to. The next morning the train entered Mumbai ... amazingly it was an hour ahead of its scheduled arrival time. To correct its timing, the train started to stop frequently. When the train stopped at Dadar (it was not scheduled to stop there), Urvashi asked me - Is this train gonna stop here. I told her that I don't think it is supposed to stop here. She told me that her place is nearby and if it stops it would be good for her. So when the train finally stopped, I asked her that if she want to get down, I can help her. She told me yeah and we rushed to the door so that she can get off the train quickly. She thanked me and told me ... will meet sometimes (like thats gonna happen !!!). When I came back to my seat, I called my Jijaji (brother in law) and told him about that the train. He asked me to get down there (Dadar) since it is easier to catch the connecting local train to Thane (Jijaji's place). So I got down and saw Urvashi again ... but by that time she was leaving the station. Meeting new people while travelling is fun, especially when the person you meet is interesting. I know that meeting her again is almost an impossibility, but that's the beauty of travelling. Its like instant friendship ... short and sweet.

Next day (22nd Dec), the big day arrived ... my niece's birthday. We booked a newly built hall for the occasion. From 4 pm, we started decorating the place with balloons. We also set up the music system and arranged the podium. My sister made couple a big banner for her princess on thermacol. She also made a collage of Avni's pics (my niece).

The gifts were packed in special hand made gift bags, which my mom made (they were really cool). Amazingly, these bags were made from normal stuff which you would find in any Indian home.


The party started at 7ish. Since it was basically a kids party, there were games, music, dance, the usual kind of birthday fun. Before cutting the cake, the Khoya bag (bag full of goodies) was broken. The bag bursts — toffees, pencils, erasers, kids stuff tumbled out. All the kids pushed each other to collect the "loot". What a fun !!!

Finally the cake was cut (a whopping 4kg choco cake). Just when the candles were about to be blown away, my niece swung her hand into the cake. I guess that was the perfect way to cut the cake (cutest way too .... hahaha). Afterwards, the dinner buffet was served. Yummy food, yummy cake, yummy ice-cream ... all my dieting went for a toss ... but who the heck cares ... anything for my princess.

Got in the train on 23rd from Bandra. Again I got the side lower seat. This time also there was a gal ... alas this time, she was butt ugly and illiterate. The train arrived an hour late this time. Aah ... good times gotta end sometime. Before boarding the train, I asked my mom to send the office bag to station ... Mamaji came to station and dropped me to office.

The trip was nice ... and already am missing my sweet little niece.

GL ... going going !!!

Well the day finally arrived ... the day I was anxious about ... and secretly wished didn’t come soon ... but things usually don’t go according to my wishes or plans ... I quit GL few days back and had the pre-exit interview today. Well ... sometimes you gotta take decisions which are not of your liking but you gotta take them anyhow ... Having worked here for 3.5 years and having liked most of it ... it was not the easiest of decisions ... Last 6 months, things were not very comfy-comfy ... I tried very hard to keep going on but I couldn’t found enough reasons (well not any) to stay any longer and weather this turbulence.

In the pre-exit interview, after hearing my reasons for quitting, the HR gal asked me – what can she do so that I reconsider the decision ... she told me that if I want the promotion (which I firmly believe that I should have got in the appraisal) ... she can make it happen in the next cycle ... if I am worried about job security (due to recession, things are not very hunky dory in GL), she can get me a project. She said if these things happen... will I reconsider. I thought for a sec (should not have) ... but when I ran the montage in my head of all the things that made me do this, there was only one answer... NO. I asked her that I was not given the promotion last time because the management didn’t thought I was ready for it (I know they are wrong) ... and having been on bench for almost 3 months (the time since I stopped working seriously) ... how can I get the promotion ... on what grounds GL will give it ... If I was not good enough 5 months back ... what wonderful things I have done to deserve the promotion ... and why I am being given these options now when I dropped the papers. Obviously she didn’t had any answer ... she asked me alright since you are not happy (!!!) what do you wanna do ? To serve the one month notice or want early release ... I opted for the latter. So 26th it is ... the last official day at GL ... never thought I will bid adieu to the place so soon ... but ... whatever ... you know ... shit happens.

3.5 years may not be a great deal of time frame at one workplace, but if you are an IT person (read IT coolie) in India, it is a lifetime. I made few wonderful friends and I absolutely loved the place for the first 2.5 years ... I don’t think many organizations in Delhi-NCR have such an work environment ... but for the last 1 years... GL has grown too big for its own good. It got big ... and started to act like one. The huge influx of new people has surely changed the atmosphere ... sadly not for good. In addition, the recession made things worse. Anyhow, like they say ... all good things must come to an end.

MAMS 97 Reunion

Yesterday night, I had my first re-union (sort of) with MAMS school friends; some of whom I met after 9 years (1997 !!!). I was in touch with most of them via e-mail or Orkut, but haven’t seen most of them in 9 years. A month back, I received a group mail from Punit asking all of us (MAMS 97 batch) for a get-together. Punit came up with this idea of old buddies meeting once in a while, and last year the first MAMS 97 buds met (I could not attend). However, I made sure that I come around for this one because not every day you get to re-connect with school buddies. Even though only 8 of us came for the party, it was a night of nostalgia. I guess next meet will see a much better turnout. Well you can’t complain since most of us are not in same city, country or even continent. Anyhoooo ... it was good to see all of them. Getting to know them all over again was also an experience. In these 9 years, we all have grown older and wiser (except for me ... LOL). We are in the “adult” phase of our lives, but yesterday we became kids again.

Waiting for winters

Its 9th December and still Delhi is waiting for its famous winters. The day temperatures are still in mid-high 20s (ºC) and nights are still reeling under double figure temperatures ... way above normal. Dilli ki sardi (Delhi’s winter) is legendary among Indians, especially the Hindi speaking folks. Delhi is like a weather lab where one gets to experience the 2 main seasons – summer and winter – to the extreme. If summers burn you with near 50 degrees, winters can freeze you with near 0 degree. Not many places on this planet can boost of such a huge temp-range ... one of the reasons why I love Delhi. No wonder we Dilliwalas (Delhiites) can go to any place without fearing the weather gods. When I was in NYC last year (in winter season), even the day temp use to be near 0ºC. The hotel I stayed in was inhabited by many south Indians (who never really experience winters back home). Those folks were not very comfortable in such conditions. I, on the other hand, enjoyed the winters immensely. Not that we get such chilly conditions back home, but it was easier for me to adapt. Similarly, I have seen so many foreigners apply bucket load of sunscreen lotions and drinking tanks full of liquids when they visit my city in summers (to enjoy Indian summers ... huh!!!) even in April. Where as we Delhiites don’t even flinch in June-July, when the Sun seems to be really HOT (literally).

I hail from a small village (Kanuta) in Churu district, Rajasthan (adjoining state), which also has a similar weather pattern. Churu have always been in the news for weather reasons. It boosts of the highest and lowest temps in India (for plain regions). In fact, the variation in the minimum and maximum temperature may very well be greatest for any place in the world. Having made Delhi my home and my karma bhoomi (land of my actions), I adapted its culture and weather like a hand in a glove. Like every hardcore Delhiite, I too enjoy a good (and lazy) night sleep in rajayi (quilt) and drinking garam garam chai (hot tea) along with pakore (Indian snack). Aaahhhh ... absolute bliss

I love it when I struggle to see in the dense fog (pollution also plays a part in it) ... I love it when I shiver while driving (never used the heater option in my car ... never ever) ... I love it when it gets dark at 6’o clock in the evening, I love it when the sun don’t shine for days and I love it when I actually miss the sun. So many things that I want to feel and yet the winters are not here. Damn !!!

Solidarity for Mumbai victims @ GL

Unintentional humour at first 26/11 press conference

Today Mumbai’s Police Commissioner Hassan Gafoor called a press conference (first official press conference by police after the 26/11 Mumbai Attacks). Just like in any other press conference, this one too had its share of unintentional humor. Here are 3 little things that I found kinda humorous.

When the commissioner told the reporters that there were 10 terrorists in the terror episode and they were divided into 5 groups of 2 each. One (genius @#$%&) journo asked – 4 terrorists were killed in Hotel Taj alone ... how can that be possible. The commissioner looked at him with absolute disdain and said that yeah that’s right. We killed 4 terrorists in Taj because there were 2 groups in it. What a moronic question was that ... this was not a Math class dumbass.

Another funny moment happened when the commissioner was asked whether the nabbed terrorist is cooperating with the police or not. With a wide smile on his face the commissioner answered – yes ... yes he is cooperating. Like that modafocka terrorist have a choice ... Mumbai/Indian police can make even a dead wood to play like a flute ... they can make a dead man to talk like a teenage girl ... then who the fuck is this stupid terrorist. No matter how long and hard he was trained ... he can’t withstand the “policing” ... if you know what I mean.

Last but not the least – the commissioner explained the strategies of the terrorists. How they were trained and blah blah. He told the reporters that the idiots were trained very well and they were told to take positions at higher places so that they can gauge and cover wider area. When the terrorists attacked CST (one of the most famous railway station in Mumbai), they were not that successful because they couldn’t found out the way to the top. Lack of infrastructure and bad design saved the day ... ahahahahaha.

Unrighteous Religion

What a horrendous week it was ... India’s economic hub – Mumbai – was held hostage by 10 terrorists (official figures). Just like a scene from a B-grade desi flick, the terrorists came in small boat via Arabian Sea and attacked Hotel Taj (which is located by the shore), Hotel Oberoi-Trident and Nariman House. More than 200 people were killed and around 400 injured. The security forces also killed 9 terrorists and nabbed 1 alive. The terrorists were absolutely ruthless and barbaric. They were shooting at sight ... indiscriminately, which makes me wonder ... WHY? The motive of all these jihadists is simple – to kill or be killed for the sake of their religion. They preach that they are fighting for all the Muslims ... yet they do not even blink while shooting their own brothers and sisters. More importantly, is this the only way to raise concerns. My answer is unequivocally NO. We all are living in a civilized society; we all must behave civilized. This is not 10000 B.C. for gods’ sake.


Yesterday I was watching a documentary on 9/11. They showed how the terrorists get training and how they get into suicide trance. Most of the high profile suicide attackers (fidayeen) are well-educated (hell ... in western universities) young people. They have their entire life in front of them. Yet they choose to kill until death. Funnily, the extremist leaders brainwash the young minds ... and get this ... the prize they say is to bed 72 virgins in heaven. What a load of BS !! These young men are told that not only they will go to heaven ... they will also be greeted by 72 virgins (Hoor Al-Ayn ... beautiful maidens). I know I know ... its jaw dropping. I am not a Muslim specialist, but I am not sure that this is what Allah meant when he preached the religion. However, if this is one of the reasons of martyrdom then I am at loss of words. The kid who never got laid in real life ... is expecting to be the stud in afterlife. It is so funny that I almost fell of the couch when the commentator in the documentary spoke of it.

Come to think of it ... sex/lust and religion has a very strong bond (no pun intended). Every religion has some kind of reference to sex/lust. In fact in most religion it plays a very central role. Let me summarize few important mythological sex/lust tit-bits

• In Hindu religious stories (well I’m a Hindu even though I don’t really believe in organized religion, but I was raised a Hindu so I know few stories), Maharishi Vishwamitra was tempted by Meenaka (she was a pari ... a fairy). Vishy was a holy man and he was a celibate (ahahahaha !!!!). However, Meenaka broke his self-control and bedded him.
• The entire Ramayana (one of the most religious holy book) was based on the central theme of Sita’s kidnap by Ravana. Sita was Ram’s wife (one of the most famous Hindu deities) whom Ravana (the evil king of Lanka) kidnapped because he wanted to marry her.
• Even Mahabharata (another important religious holy book) happened because Duryodhana stripped his own bhabhi (wife of elder brother)
• In Christianity (and Islam), Adam and Eve were commanded to be fruitful and multiply ... look what happened. We just crossed 6 billion mark :-). Both of the religion has strict rules and regulations for sex/lust (remember Eros !!!).

I can see a point in fighting for what you believe in. However, the beliefs should be real ... they should not be imaginary or mythological. A soldier dies because he believed in his country and compatriots, however the same should not hold true for all those who die for religion. Weather anyone likes it or not, we have created our own religions. This is a fact. And we created it as a fall back option. Religion is nothing more than a comforting factor; a false make-belief that someone cares for us when everything seems lost. I know this may sound very crude but this is what I think. To kill or be killed in the name of religion is nothing but an utter waste of life. Those who die for it deserved to be dead. They had it coming. When you know that you will die one day, then why not make the most of the time when you are alive ... if you are man enough, you can bed more than 72 hoors while you are not sleeping (if you know what I mean). The crux of most religion is the aspect of “homing mechanism”, which roughly translated as all the God’s creation must draw back to God himself. It sounds like having one's cake and eat it too. C’mon don’t make your god look like a lowlife. I am sure while creating religion and god, people had a bigger image of god in their mind.

Adieu BS team

Friday was my last day in the GL Blackstone team. I will now be on bench and will have to wait for the next project. Leaving the current project after 2+ years evoked mixed reactions. I was happy that I would be free from the monotony and from a dickhead client; however I was also feeling kind of low because I will be leaving the team. The guys were great and I enjoyed working with them. Just like in any long relationship, there were times when things were little tense and there were times where everything was hunky dory. All in all, it was a good team experience.

I learned a great deal while working on this project ... this was my first big QA break. 3 years back when I decided to change my career path (from TW to QA), I never knew that I would be getting such a high profile project so soon. Thanks to my lucky stars, I was free at the right time. Both the QAs in the team had resigned and I also got free from my previous project just in time. Initially, things were bit rough since not many people trusted me as I was relatively new to QA field and the project (and the client) was little challenging. However, soon I took to the task like fish to the water. I worked really hard for the next 20 months. It practically became my life. I never had the time to do anything else apart from the work. I so wanted to prove myself that I can be a good QA. I think I did prove that I was good enough ... however all that hard work and pain in the arse kind of a client led to my burn out. For the last 6 months the poison was slowly and steadily started to engulf me. One fine day, I saw a stinking mail from client and I simply snapped. I decided that enough is enough and it was time to say to hell with it. I asked for my release as soon as I finished reading that freaking mail.

People do question my decision of quitting at the time when it was about to get even bigger. I was supposed to go New York for long term and had I continued, it would have catapulted my career to the next level. I left all this ... for one reason only – peace of mind. I know that if I am good enough I would get better things in life and career sooner or later. However I can’t loose my sleep and life over it. I work to live ... not live to work. To me, stuff like pride, self respect, and happiness are much more important. Anyways, no point in looking back and analyze what went wrong or what could have been. Life is too short to stop and think. Here hoping for better things in life ....

Few world events

H’uh ... its been long ... isn’t it ...

Anyhooo ... well nothing major happened in my life ... life is as mundane as it can be ... I wake up ... go office ... come back home ... sleep ... and so on and so forth ... nothing special happened in last 7-8 days ...

However, quite a few historic events occurred in world history ... like the successful launch of Chandrayaan-1 (Moon Craft). It was a very proud moment for India as it launched its first ever unmanned moon mission and this week it entered into lunar orbit. With a budget of less than $100 million, it was one of the cheapest space missions. This mission created a world record by successfully launching 10 satellites in one go. As a result, it shattered the previous record of a Russian rocket that successfully launched eight satellites last year. Do you know that India has 11 national communications satellites in orbit – the largest for any country in the Asia-Pacific region. India also has 7 remote sensing satellites in orbit, the largest number of any country in the civilian domain. Almost a third of the global market for remote sensing images at a resolution of 5-6 meters has already been captured by India. Mind blowing isn’t it? India is in an elite list of selected countries that has such sophisticated technologies. India’s space organization, ISRO (setup 35 years ago), has a yearly budget of mere $1bn as compared to NASA’s $17bn. Moreover, due to various sanctions because of nuclear tests, nobody helped India in such sophisticated technology. So the achievements are all the more impressive.

Another first ... America elected its first ever colored candidate ... that was huge. The whole world stood up and took notice of that event. The euphoria in India (especially among the Indian media) was unprecedented. It was like we are having an election and electing someone from minority. At one point of time ... I just had it with all the hype. I know that was a big deal in USA ... but c’mon ... he is after all just another president and being an Indian we should look at that with Indian perspective. Let us not forget that Obama’s rhetoric against outsourcing should not make us happy ... after all Indian resurrection in last 15 years is greatly helped by the outsourced jobs. Obama is not too happy about the nuclear deal either ... he wants us to sign the CTBT, which effectively means we would surrender our right to conduct nuclear test. So his pre election speeches are not very good for us. I hope those speeches are just that ... speeches ... he doesn’t act on them

On a more serious note (ahahahaha) ... India won the Border-Gavaskar trophy by pounding the Aussies to a humiliating 2-0 series victory. Team India is taking long strides and if the consistency continues, we will be the kings of all the three forms of the game. Yippie !!!!

Well still trying to recover from seasonal cold ... have taken 2 days sick leave and hope to join office tomorrow. Sitting idle at home is not fun ... thank god I still have a job ... ahahahaha

So long ... see you all soon ... cheers

I am perfect ... NOT

Few things that I should change (keyword is SHOULD – whether I will do anything about them or not is another story ... probably another post ... LOL):

• I’m very selfish. I only think or do only those things that are beneficial to me.
• I don’t think about others feelings or welfare that much (if any). Seldom have I done anything good for others. Charity or going out of the way to help others ... I guess I don’t know about such noble deeds.
• I just don’t care about what others think about me or expects anything from me. Well not caring for others is not a bad quality, but if you know me you will know what I’m talking about. I have taken this so-called bad quality to a whole new level.
• If I don’t like anything, I just DON’T like it. I don’t even try to look for reasons or justifications for doing so. Even if I try to look at it from different perspective, I would still hate it – even if hating it hurts me.
• I can’t pretend. Even harmless pretension is an unknown thing for me.
• I’m very blunt – in fact, I’m rude. If something is on my mind, you will hear it. And while doing so, I don’t mince words.
• I am a pretty shallow kind of a guy. I know that I’m not perfect, but I always want perfect things.
• I’m temperamental. I tend to get angry at things that bother me and I can be pretty scary when I’m in hulk-mode.
• I’m lazy. Although I’ve paid a very heavy price for it, I still am as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.
• I am the hardest person on this earth to please. If something good happens to me, I scrutinize it to death ... so much so it soon becomes a non-event. Well this is not my fault ... life hasn’t been too kind to me. In 29 years of my existence, I’ve seen/gone thru some pretty hard things. I just can’t believe that some good thing can actually happen to me.
• I don’t forgive and I never forget.

There are a million things that I would like to change or do differently, but if I can change even the ones that I just said, I would be a better person.

Jajs Dieting

Its been almost a month since I've been dieting (religiously). Phew !!! I've not eaten normal food (read typical Indian - Marwari food) for so long now that I don't even miss it. In the last 30 days or so, I've lost 7 kgs (little over 15 pounds). Yessssssssss. Last month when I checked my weight, I was shocked to see that I've gained considerably. Once I got out of that shock, I decided to do something about it. Well I am an emotional eater (kinda) and exercise was never my thing (where is the time ??? ahem ...). All I have is strong willpower. So I decided that I will cut down on unhealthy food and will adopt a healthy lifestyle. For the last 1 month I've been eating - Corn, Cucumber, Tomato, Cabbage, Sprouts, Grams, Beans, Apple, Orange, Papaya ... basically fruits and vegetables along with stuff like Popcorn and Puffed Rice. I try to eat 'em raw as much as possible. If at all - only olive oil is used and that too very sparingly. I even try to drink sugar-less tea (2 cups/day max). I have completly chucked wheat or anyting made out of it, milk and milk products, rice, stuff like potato and banana, sweets and desserts, chocolates ... basically all things that makes me fat (but darn tasty ... buhuuuu). For the past couple of weeks, I've been doing little bit of jogging in the morning as well. The results are encouraging and I hope to continue this regimen for couple of months more. My target is to loose 20kgs (45 pounds). So 7 down... 13 more to go.

Wish me luck !!!

Diwali 2008

The Screwjob

This week my mid–term appraisal was done. As expected, it was not to my liking. I did get not–so–bad rating but not the promotion (which I deserved). When I asked why the promotion was not given, I was told that I was not responsible enough. Funny, since I got the highest rating in the last appraisal cycle (6 months back). Let me conveniently ignore the fact that as late as in August, my boss appreciated my efforts ... let me just erase it from my memory. The question is – how come an ‘irresponsible’ guy like me got a Star rating? And if I was that good 6 months back, what the heck did I do in last 6 months which turned me into a slack? No, no wait ... I got it ... I think I have a hunch ... hmmm ... how can I forget that I quit the project couple of months back ... foolish me. Now that I am no longer an ‘asset’, I got screwed (to put it mildly). I guess the promises made to me last time are just that – promises.

The worst part of all this commotion is that I really worked pretty darn hard in this project (2+years). That’s quite some time in a single project (by IT industry’s standards). This after the fact that the client (let’s call him Bob) is not the most accommodating (to say the LEAST). Not a single person in my project is a happy chappie. In fact, in past 2 years, I have seen 2 project managers (including the current one) quitting, 1 team lead quitting, many team members quitting. No matter what they say, they themselves know that one of the main reasons of quitting was – his royal highness. Unlike them, I would be very honest. My one and only reason for leaving the project is Bob. Who else in right mind will walk out of a project which has huge growth potential? Well such an idiot can only be yours truly. The project is about to go in major expansion mode and it offers a long term New York stay. Only me ... only a fool like me.

I am a passionate kind of a person ... whatever I do or believe ... I do it with full gusto. If I don’t like anything, I won’t do it – no matter what. I never cared for the consequences before, and will never care for them in future. Once my senior manager told me that I should be more ‘politically correct’. Huh !!! Isn’t being ‘correct’ (only) good enough? Since I just had it with the project, I decided that I will leave it before I completely lose my mind. Being a professional, I told my manager that I would like to leave the project since I don’t think I can convince myself to give 100% and if I can’t give my best to the project, I should not be a part of it. Surprisingly, I was let go ... without much hue and cry. But when it came to appraise me, I was robbed. Anyhoo ... I have rejected the appraisal and waiting for my next round of meetings with the senior management to get the ‘right’ answers for all the ‘wrongs’. Fingers crossed ...

Little training update ....Today I got an appreciation letter because of my training efforts. The training was very well received (not my words ... I'm quoting from the letter ... HEHEHE). Along with the letter, I am now entitled to reimburse purchase of a book worth INR 250. Wuhuuu !!!!

Training Day

Am back ... did not had time to blog for the last 3 days because I was busy preparing for the QTP training that I and Gaurav were to gave. Since the nature of training was very technical and the audience well informed and educated, it was a real test for us to come up with effective power-point presentations and examples.

Couple of weeks back, I and Gaurav decided that we would give training on QTP since it is very popular topic in my office (specially among the tester group) and not many people in my organization gives training on QTP. We learned QTP recently and were very enthusiastic about the idea of imparting wisdom (Haaa !!!). So we coordinated with the training department and scheduled a 3 days long training from Wednesday (of 2 hours each). Wednesday came and we both were very jittery on day 1 because we are not used to give presentations and speaking in front of an audience. It was a case of classic stage fright. Also, we did not plan the training properly. Even the presentation slides were not very organized. The room was full of eager ears. They were really up to it for the training. We had planned 2 hours long training but it ended in less than 100 minutes. We did explain everything that we planned to, but not in the most effective way. I would say ... not the best of days and the training ended in just OK mode. At the end of the training, we sat down and decided that we need to have a proper plan and a good presentation. We decided to make the training more informative and also decided that we both will share the training 50-50. I went home and stayed up till 3 in the morning to make a ‘fundoo’ presentation and jotted down examples to present. I also planned the way to conduct the presentation and its ‘flow’. Thursday came and the presentation went much (much) better as compared to previous day. We almost used the slotted 2 hours and gave lots of illustrations and examples to support the presentation. When we came out of the training room, we felt like kings. We followed the same method and divided the topics among ourselves for the next day. Again, I stayed up pretty late to create the presentation. Today was the third and the last day of training and we absolutely nailed it. It went really well (better than what we anticipated). We were so good today that couple of girls came and told us that it was a really good session and they thanked us for the training. I looked at Gaurav and he was also happy as Larry.

An hour later, I asked Gaurav to check with the training department about the feedback for the training (if any). And soon Gaurav emailed me the final feedback score. WOW !!!! unbelievable. We got an overall 4 out of 5 ratings (21 feedbacks for 3 sessions). The best part of that feedback chart was number of 5s that we got for Knowledge of the Subject, Quality of Training Material, and Presentation and Communication Skills. Gaurav called me up and said that couple of people even told him that this was the best QTP training given in our office. WA WA WI WA ... and the best part of the feedback – it was genuine. We did not ask anyone to fill the feedback form. That’s make it more special. Oh how good am I feeling today ... I feel vindicated that I can do good things if I work hard enough and do the work sincerely.

Tonight ... I will sleep like a baby :-)

Cheers

Banning short selling

Today, Vishesh (my boss) raised a peculiar question – why the government is not imposing ban on short selling in the stock market. Ahan!!! Being a strong believer of market, I disagreed. My reasons are simple – if you do not ban unprecedented rise of stock market, then why to curb market forces in time of downturn? And just like uptrend, downtrend is also a fact of market lifecycle. Tools like short selling and margin trading are legalized for a reason and that reason is to earn money. I know the very concept of margin trading and short selling reeks of gambling; but hey who am I to question such things? If wiser people have made them legal then a person like me can and will use them to earn money. Who doesn’t? If I’m taking the risk of shorting a stock, then I must be eligible for the profits (if any). People have this notion that money can be earned from stock markets only in bull runs. But if you play smartly, bear market also gives you plenty of opportunities to earn pocket full of moolah.

Coming to the question again – Isn’t it against the whole concept of market? He said that people are earning money off other people’s misery. I was not very amused by this statement because the statement was very oxymoronic. Capital markets never cared for emotions and welfare. I know that loads of people are severely affected by the savage downturn, but that doesn’t mean that government should go out of the way to help them. If a person is taking a risk of investing his/her hard earned money in a legalized gambling den, then he/she shall be solely responsible for it. Government’s only role is to monitor the market for illegal activities like inside trading or stock operators. I am sure I’m not leaving a good impression on any comrade with my ideas (although I must confess I really like the idea of socialism), but such is the nature of capitalistic market.

Poking nose into

After suffering for god knows how long I visited an ENT specialist yesterday. For as long as I care to remember, I have been prone to common cold, nose bleeding, and excessive sneezing. And for the past one month, my throat was aching like hell. Anyhooo ... the doc told me that I am suffering from Granular Pharyngitis and Allergic Rhinitis. D’uh !!!

OK OK I know these terms sounds like big fuckups. Calm down ... nothing like that ... I’m suffering from acute allergic reaction. Funny thing ... h’uh ... you won’t believe but I knew about my allergy for a very long time ... but whenever I use to tell anyone (including my mom), they thought that I was being ‘snotty’. Haaa !!! how yall like me now ... I told yall that I just can’t handle all this dust and pollution in India ... I was not lying people ... Anyhooo, bad news is that there is no permanent solution of this irritant ... so I may have to pop pills for life. On a lighter side, this may be my first long term commitment with anything ... hahahaha

C yall soon ... have a good night

Taking Stock

Yesterday was one of the most memorable days in world economic history. Not everyday you get to see a coordinated rate cut by central banks across the globe. Countries like US, UK, China, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, European Central Bank, and other Asian countries had cut rates. It is hard to believe that the US rates are as low as 1.5% only. How low can one go? Well, these are some of the extraordinary steps taken at really extraordinary times. Not since the Great Depression, the economies around the world are shaking. The banking sector in few “bankable” countries is in a state of total hara-kiri. The situation is so bad that the governments are bailing out banks with mind boggling sums of money. Big steps like curbing short selling have been taken by many countries. Even in India, the central bank cut rate and securities exchange board eased norms for foreign investors. In fact, the board just reversed the P-Notes clause that it introduced last year. The clause was introduced to curb huge inflows of foreign money into India. Now it is removed to attract more foreign capital inflows. Oh! how the mighty has fallen.

On any other day, steps like these would have resulted in 1000 points rally in the equity markets. Amazingly it did not happen. In fact, the US stock market fell more than 10% after the “mother of all bailouts”. We too went down heavily even with the rate cuts and investor friendly policies. Not only this, the fall in crude oil prices is having absolutely no impact on market sentiments. The mood is absolutely somber and the risk appetite is gone. For the past few months, analysts all over the world were in self denial. They assumed that it is a blip in market system and we would get through this pretty soon. However, the environment today is echoing a very different and negative story. The world markets are in a bear hug and that too with some vicious force. Even being one of the most resilient economies, Indian stock market fell almost 50% from its all time highs within a year. If the rise was quick and ferocious, the fall was even faster and vicious. This may make you question the micro and macro fundamentals of Indian economy, but to tell you the truth, the answer still would be the same as it was a year ago. There is no reason to doubt the Indian story because we, being a well regulated economy, are shielded with outside madness and greed.

Even after the realization of great Indian dream, I wonder why the heck our markets are falling like pack of cards. Well there are no easy and quick answers to this question, but with all my little stock exchange experience, I came out with the following market pointers:

Sentimentalism – It may sound like total BS, but I have found that the stock market is very sentimental and finicky in nature. Very often, it doesn’t even look at the fundamentals of a particular sector or organization. The prices may rise and fall – just like that – sometimes without any reason. So if someone is advising you to buy/sell a particular stock, don’t follow the advice blindly. Go by the sentiments for that stock in the stock market. A real life example of this would be Essar Steel. The stock was about to be de-listed from the exchange, but in the last couple of weeks, it always used to hit the upper circuit. Mind blowing, isn’t it?

The great hope – Information is real-time these days. It spread faster than a wild fire. With the advent of online trading, many computer literate average Joes have entered the stock bullring. They latch on to any small positive tit bits about a stock and buy it at any cost. Valuations and PE are alien concepts to them. RNRL and RPL are examples of such great hopes – at the time of boom madness, they used to jump 20-30% on a regular basis. The only reason behind it was hope. Funny thing was (and still is), both of these companies haven’t even started their business and their valuations were among the most expensive in the world.

Invest slowly and widely – Spread your wings, but slowly. Do not enter into market with all your life savings and never put all your eggs in one basket, even if the basket is made up of solid gold.

Get out and get out fast – Most of us tend to have unrealistic price goals, particularly selling price. We look for instant gratification – doubling the money in no time. Well you may get lucky once or twice, but not always. Keep your stop losses and selling price reasonable and strict. It doesn’t matter if the stock you sold skyrocketed another 50%. When we sell a stock (even at good profits) and it jumps, we tend to loose heart. We think that we sold it too soon. Believe me, this guilty felling led us into setting unreasonable sell/buy price. As a trader, if you have set a profit margin of 5-10%, then get out at your initial decided price. A recent incident makes me laugh my brains out. You must have read this in newspapers – Microsoft offered Yahoo $40/share and Yahoo rejected it by saying the price is ridiculous. Even when the big corporate estimators said that it’s a very good price. But the deal was rejected. The last time I cheeked Yahoo’s stock price, it was $14. So even if the price doubles, it won’t be anywhere near to the initial offer. Sometimes selling really makes sense.

Buy low and sell high – Do you know who gave this simplest of philosophy? Mr. Warren Buffet – the world’s greatest investor. Just remember that there is a difference between ‘price’ and ‘value’ of a stock. If you have studied a stock, then look at its value and growth potential. If you have good reasons to believe that there is good chance of upside in a particular stock, buy it. As I’ve told you, market doesn’t always go by the valuations. At times of panic, some stocks goes well below their real value. Whenever you encounter such situation, grab the opportunity and invest. Don’t worry if the price falls because if you are patient enough, the stock will be back to its real price. Remember, market may be sentimental, but it is not a fool. Market always has a way of finding good stocks, even if it may take a while.

Never say never – Never assume that the prices will rise or fall forever. Nothing is written on stone in stock market. If a stock is really blue chip today (I mean expensive), it won’t remain that way always. I’ve seen few stocks which flew like eagle but tanked like a bomb. If you think you won’t get that stock at this price, then you my dear friend are wrong. Market has a very bad habit of humbling biggest of players. One of the biggest investors in India, Rakesh Jhunjhunwala once said - Market is like weather, you got to bear it weather you like it or not.

Do not get overboard – There is a saying in Hindi – इंसान को पैर चद्दर से बहार नहीं फैलाना चाहिए. Roughly translated – Person should not protrude the foot out of the sheet. If you are a small fry, try to avoid trading on margins. You should trade within your capacity. Buy/sell stocks only if you can back it up with money in your bank account. Do not do margin trading because it may land you on sticky wicket.

Don’t panic – Yesterday (when market tanked again), I bought few shares of one of the most stable banks at a very attractive price. But then it fell more, and then some more. I kept on buying it at every fall in small quantities. Ultimately, the average cost of that stock came out to be really really cheap. By the end of the day, I sold all of them for a good profit. If you have invested in a good stock, don’t panic. Once the dust is settled, it will be back to its real value.

Be brave – We are human and we will make mistakes. Sometimes we invest in some stock and then we realize our mistake. Do not hang on to it. Get rid of it as soon as possible, even if it means selling at losses. Do not get disheartened. Because the capital that you recovered by selling the bad stock, can now be put to better use. Invest it in some good stock and you will soon offset all your losses. In the end, your portfolio may look bad with few reds, but when you see the final figure at the bottom, you will feel good. Just remember, you are not the god of market. You will make mistake and try to use that failure as a founding stone of your next big profit.

Be alert – Keep yourself updated with latest news and developments and try to analyze them. Listen to educated/experienced voices. The more the information, the faster the information - the better it will be for your portfolio. Don’t just sit on your bum once you buy a stock. Just buying and forgetting about a stock is not a long term investment. You got to keep analyzing the situation in timely fashion to protect your investment. If you buy a stock for long term, but it yields great results in shorter duration, then don’t hesitate to sell it, unless you have good reasons to belive that there is more upside in future.

Transit Devils

When I was coming back to home in the metro, I suddenly started thinking why I hate traveling in crowded public transportation ... I had my notepad with me and I started to jot down few of nuisances which really peeves me ... some of them are as follows:

• Stinker – I don’t know about you guys, but have you commuted in a crowded bus or metro lately… gawdddddddd ... people stinks (no pun intended ... they really do). We live in a tropical country ... sweating is our birthright ... but scientists have made few “tools” just to oppress this right… things like perfumes and deodorants. These products are there for a reason ... they are not mere good looking bottles on shelves ... we need to use them more often and as often.
• Scratch off – This one is really unnerving for most civilized societies. How many times you’ve seen a person just “touching” himself/herself in an inappropriate manner ... No no no ... don’t let loose your voyeuristic sailboats ... I’m talking about people scrathing and digging the unmentionables. Sometimes, some places where no human being should go ... you get my drift ... the less said the better.
• Hair raising – Most of us Indians are blessed with “forests” all over our bodies ... its in our genes ... we can’t run away from it. But, we can at least curb their growth. Remember ... “your” forest is not a part of fight against global warming. Girls ... I'm talking to you only. Cut them !! Keep your hands and legs clean ... at least
• Grunge - C’mon this ain’t 1992. The grunge look is not cool. People, at least try to wear clean clothes ... even if they are not in-sync with the latest fad. Being untidy is not a look ... it simply shows how clumsy you are ... and nop it doesn’t look good – not on most Indian men and women.
• Couture – This one is mainly aimed at Delhi babes. I know you are the best looking girls in India but c’mon do you have anything in your wardrobe except for jeans and tees? And Delhi dudes…. What’s up with those bathroom slippers ... do you need to take a leak all the time or what ... why those freaking chappals all the freaking time?
• Vocal – This is like a nightmare. How many times you have seen a person talking on his cell phone like he is in the war and he can’t hear the conversation because of bombs exploding in the background. If not this, then playing the radio as if the railcar is one’s bedroom

Don’t even think that I was being politically correct ... Yeah ... I’m talking to you dames ... you also are in the same boat.

Anyhooo, got the remote fixed yesterday ... the world started to make sense again ... LOL

Planned Leaves

Woooo... today is the second day of this 4 day long weekend... I’m already excited about the next 4 day long weekend... which is next week by the way. HAHAHA. These quick breaks have made me realize why I did not took more holidays to unwind. You won’t believe when I checked my leave records on my office website... I was stunned to know that I’ve taken only 23 holidays in past 40 months, which makes less than 7 leaves per year. Wa Wa Wi Wa !!!

To be very honest I never got the opportunity to take long vacations due to work and stuff. That’s so freaking SAD. The only holiday I’ve taken in past 3+ years is the one when I went to Thailand in 2006. On my way back home, I decided that I will go on vacation every year – no matter what. 2007 came and I had to go to New York for an office trip. It was supposed to be a short one but I stayed there for almost 2 months. Later on, I went to NYC 2 more times so all in all I did not miss vacationing. However, now that I got these long weekends, it made me realize that I should take vacationing little more seriously. It makes you forget about stuff that bothers you in office and in general.

On a more mundane note – my idiot box’s remote is broken and I’ve got to get it fixed ASAP. Gotta see the news... HEHEHE... you know what I mean ;-). Also, I got a haircut today. Man what a relief. The curls were growing longer day by day and the tentacles started to poke my eyes and they got real messy to manage. Moreover the weather is getting sticky again... which I think is a sign of freaking global warming. How else you define temps like 37°C in the month of October ??? Goddamn !!!

Allrighty... time for some music and do some QTP learning... so long

Gandhian Way

Today is Mahatma Gandhi’s 139th birthday. To be honest, for a very long time, I did not believed in Gandhi’s ideology of non-violence and peaceful non-participation of anything you believe is evil. To be fair, the world around us does not make us believe in Gandhivaad. As we are racing ahead, we are so getting consumed with materialism, religious intolerance, and an insatiable appetite for destruction of all things good. If we stop and think about all the things we have done and are continue to do – we would be horrified by our own actions. I’m not saying money or religion is the root of all evil – hell they are the very basis of our survival today. However, materialism and religious fundamentalism have become a part of our social DNA.

As I’ve said that for a very long time I was against Gandhi’s ideology. However, as I’ve grown older (and hopefully little wiser), I’ve realized the fact that Gandhi’s messages are still relevant for modern times that I wonder sometimes – have we really changed (read progressed) in past 50-60 years when Gandhi was fighting against the English Goliath? We may think that we have progressed in terms of lifestyle, knowledge, morals, values, and basic human rights. However, we have also progressed in mass destruction of nature, unprecedented religious fundamentalism, corruption, integrity decay, and consumerism. It is like taking one step forward and two backwards. If we look closely, the world has not changed that much. It’s the skin that has changed, but the skeleton remains the same.

My interest in Gandhi started when I saw Richard Attenborough’s film Gandhi. As a student, we Indians are taught about Indian greats like Gandhi, Nehru, Patel, and Bose. However, being a kid I always used to wonder how a person can protest in a non-violent manner. We always used to have Gandhi versus Bose discussions and in the end Bose always scored over Gandhi in terms of popularity. It is not surprising because as a young man would you really like to get slapped and not hitting back? The answer would be unequivocally NO. If someone hits us, we will hit back. Not like Gandhi who used to offer his other cheek if someone slapped him. A similar scene from the movie really made me take notice of this man. In an incident, (actually the movie was biopic so I would not call it a scene), Gandhi was burning registration certificates and a policeman hits him with a stick. Gandhi falls down and picks up another certificate and burns it. He does it till the time he was beaten unconscious. As a cinematic scene, I was stunned to what I saw and I was absolutely amazed when I realized that this happened for real. Even though Gandhi was not the inventor of “non-violence philosophy” (which I believe is the core value of Hinduism and Buddhism), but he surely was the first modern day practitioner. He re-discovered the power of godly ideas like peace and truth to fight for freedom and injustice. I won’t call him my role model but I surely would like to emulate one quality of him and this is to do what I believe is good.

What you do is of little significance. But it is very important that you do it – Mahatma Gandhi

At Blues

Ohh, what a night !!!

Well yesterday was Sonal’s last day at office. While coming to the office, we (Me, Sonal and Arjun) decided to have a party. So according to our plan we left office at around 6. We landed up at Blues in Connaught Place. Its an amazing place if you like ale and rock-n-roll. The place was jam packed, which was surprising considering the day being Monday. Initially, we had to content with chairs at the bar because there was not a single seating space. Luckily we got excellent seats (just in front of the live band) even before finishing our first pitcher.

Soon the live band (comprising of 2 hot chicks and a bald dude) came and started playing good rock-n-roll. However, when they started to take requests, it became very predictable. People started to request songs like Complicated (by Avril Lavigne) and (worse) Dancing Queen (by Abba). And I was like – C’mon !!!. Anyhoo ... that’s typical of Delhi’s crowd. When will they get out of the Top 40 syndrome?. Thank god, the band didn’t play any Bhangra or Bollywood crap. That would have been a total spoiler.

We 3 had a great time and towards the end Sonal kinda got Lovely Lovely (our slang for soaked). Arjun didn’t drank because he was following some religious thing (fast !!). Thank God ... he became the designated driver by default. We got in the car and pretty soon, I was also kinda Lovely Lovely. However, I was sober enough to walk to my room where I almost fall on my face. I slept like a baby after such a long time.

Today, when I woke up – man, my head was exploding. Had to take the day off because of the headache – good excuse to chill ... ahahahaha

Cheers

In the name of religion

Today, a bomb went off in Delhi's Mehraulli area. By the time of this post, 1 person is reported dead and 18 injured. Exactly 2 weeks ago, Delhi was rocked by 13 such blasts. All these blasts happened in busy market areas. The intention of the perpetrators is absolutely clear - to harm maximum number of civilians (no matter what religion they follow). Incidents like these are happening too often these days. Not too long ago, places like Jaipur, Ahmedabad , and Bangalore were rocked with serial blasts. Not surprisingly, these attacks were carried by Islamic militants. More than 90% of terrorist activities in the world are carried out by Islamic militants. Are Muslims of the world suffering from some kind of "victim complex"?

Not only Muslims, people of other religious beliefs also commit such acrimonious acts in the name of religion. Recently, Hindu fundamentalists burnt Churches in Karnataka. This happened in Orrisa as well in recent past. Places like Godhra burnt like hell. This time, Muslims were at the receiving end. In 80's, Sikhs faced hostility from Hindus. In neighbouring countries as well, clashes in the name of religion is common. Sri Lanka is facing a civil war due to Sinhalese versus the Tamils, Southern Thailand is also combating Muslim extremists, Indonesia had its share of fights and as a result a new country was formed (East Timor). If I start digging I can come up with a huge list of religious extremism.

This makes me wonder WHY? Why human beings carry out such heinous acts against humanity in the name of religion? I am not a religious guy (well I think I am pretty much an atheist). I can't rationalize such deep resentment towards each other in the name of religion/caste/whatever (!!!). Why don't we treat fellow living beings with respect and harmony? If we fight with each other in the name of religion, is GOD (or who so ever we worship) happy? We are here on this planet for a limited time. It would be better if we stop wasting our lives for religion and make a difference for the generations to come. No one knows what happens when we die, but I'm certain, it would be much better than what is currently going on in this world.

Affliction

I want to blow the pain out of my mind,
I want to flow like a wind of pine,
This lesion is too much to adhere,
Please god forgive me if I commit a crime.

The pleasure of blood keeps me haunting,
The pressure of the world keeps on mounting,
I tried to shut the voice of the child,
With a bullet in his throat and then in mine.

I may not be the man you think,
I may not be the lie you drink,
Sublime in the thoughts everyone,
This pain is the one thing I want to gun.

Thingy called PRIVACY

Just got back after watching Big Boss .... the program made me wonder .... why we have such voyeuristic instincts ? Programs like Big Boss and The Moment of Truth are too personal to be considered entertainment. Yesterday while watching TMoT, I was taken aback by the personal nature of the questions ... and worse - the contestant (a girl !!) was giving answers like she is the crusader of truth .... she broke hearts of the closest people in her life .... and for what ??? Money ... I just cannot imagine a person answering questions like who among her lovers is the "stud" .... do you know the worse part of this facade .... she lost .... what did she gained from the program ... NOTHING .... she made her parents and boyfriend angry as hell ... and she didn't won the money ... yeah life can be such a bitch !!!

We all are fascinated by sites like youtube, where you can find innumerable personal video clips. Some of them are as popular as movies. The most popular stuff on telly these days are "reality" shows like Survivor. Why are we so intrigued by personal lives of everyone ? Most governments in the world keep tabs on commoners .... even celebrities are hounded by paparazzi like mad dogs .... most businesses have scary amount of personal details .... no one can truly say that his personal life is his own .... where ever you go ... whatever you do ... someone is keeping a tab on you ....

This gross violation of private/personal life bothers me. What happened to that thingy called PRIVACY??? I guess we live in a different world today .... and I don't see anything changing soon.... it may get worse in future

Today ... hmmm

I thought this day would never come.... but it arrived .... FINALLY !!! Well I'm moving out of my current project and for the same I need to do KT.... well it started today and I am hoping that I'll finish it ASAP so that I can take on a new project (read new headache)

Apart from the usual office work... I checked out the stock market as well... goddamn..... what a bloodbath.... everything looks so damn cheap but I still don't have the courage to shop any stock...cause I know the market is on the verge of another deep cut.... but I hope I am wrong this time (BTW my intuitions w.r.t. stock markets are seldom incorrect). I hope it either breaks down or goes up ... so that I can take a firm decision.

Well got in the bus @ 6 PM ... this time Kasera also joined the card gang (which consist of Me, Sonal and Honey - The founding members) .... a record breaking day.... all individual records were broken today.... highest single game win and sum total records were broken .... by huge margins .... I'm relieved because the individual looser record was against my name and I thought no one will break it..... hehehehehe ..... so now I'm not the biggest looser..... Kasera is.... yippee !!!

Came home to usual telly sessions.... watched CNBC gleefully ..... hoping that the US markets don't tank today and the bloody crude don't spike... so far so good.... I hope this remains the same when I see the final figures tomorrow morning.....fingers crossed. Watched Big Boss as well.... kinda boring today so changed the channel to Ten Sports to catch some WWE action. Boringgggggggggggggg. Nothing good is on TV... time to sleep now. Will be back...tomorrow

Here I go

Finally.... I decided to join the blogosphere. Well I was planning to blog my thoughts a long time ago.... but the lazy bum inside kept holding me back. Well.... not anymore.....

Cheers,
PJ