Cost cutting gone too far

In every office ... every where ... you hear a term – cost cutting – it is omnipresent. Today when I was pulling out the paper hand towels after taking a leak in office washroom, I was shocked to see the quality. I had to use twice as much to dry my hands ... and I started to wonder ... is this measure any good. How will the office save money ... if in place of 2-3 paper towels, people start using 4-5? Sometimes cost cutting just goes too far ...

You know when the cost cutting measures have gone too far, when ...

• you need the entire roll to wipe ...


• urinals are made – pay per use


• you are given a hand-held fan ... just in case


• phones are made – pay per use


• you are given candles and match sticks ... just in case


• attending the “various uses of sun light” presentation is made mandatory


• office internet is charged on hourly basis (initially) ... eventually by minutes used


• you are charged for incoming calls on office phone


• the admin and HR team calls you 100 times ... each


• all the options in coffee machine produces hot water


• the soda machine goes out of service ... mysteriously


• you are told to use your hands to drink water


• the fountain in the office lawn is the only source of drinking water ... the fountain has an “excellent” recycling system though


• the office cab breaks down ... mysteriously ... on every weekday


• “packages” are sent via e-mails


• on any special occasion like birthday, instead of a bouquet, you are given a pass to visit office garden ... you are not allowed to pluck flowers in the garden though


• the admin team looks for an economy ticket – in DTC bus


• at the time of appraisal, you are actually given a pack of peanuts


• you are charged for that peanut pack


• you are told to do “pair programming” in literal sense


• you are allowed to play Holi ... in MS Paint only


• instead of office décor for Diwali, the IT team runs a network job to install “Lightening” screensaver ... the day before Diwali, the screensaver is activated


• the X-Mas tree is decorated with all the unclaimed lost/found items


• you see street food carts in your cafeteria


• the salary slip PDF is actually an unparseable XML file


• amount, equivalent to your monthly salary, is “mysteriously” wired to your office

I urge you all to contribute to the list (in the comments section) ... I too will keep on adding new innovative cost cutting measures ... cheers