Three Zero: Prelude

The forthcoming weekend is probably the biggest weekend of this year (so far) because of couple of reasons ... first, second, and third (ahahaha) ... yours truly will touch the (dreaded) milestone of 30 (damn!!! damn!!! damn!!!) ... and India will know the results of marathon general elections.

30 ... three decades ... thirty ... three zero ... that’s a big number isn’t it. I seriously thought that I wont grow up to be 30 ... I would be young forever (really). As usual, my air castle got “Trojaned” by my Achilles ... TIME. People say that age is nothing but a number ... they are fooling themselves. I haven’t found a single reason to cheer ... I just hope that I don’t cry when I cut the cake. It seemed like yesterday when I was in school ... now when I look back ... it feels like a pipedream. Time to wake up and smell my Corex.

I don’t know what I would feel on 16th ... may be I wont care ... may be I would be calm and happy (pretend) ... or may be I would simple loose my mind. The probability of the later is high ... ahahahaha. I will have to find ways to deal with this reality ... a reality which is worse than a nightmare. I urge all of my friend and well wishers ... don’t wish ... don’t try to spin this into some dose of positivity pill. I know this is my malady and I know I will have to find the cure for this itch.

Goodbye sweetness, Goodbye assuage
Welcome moroseness, Welcome malaise
Leaving behind a rudderless life
The road ahead ... still filled with strife

xoxo

Long Gone

Is this what I am here for
I don’t know, nothing seems so sure
These ghost walls haunts me, taunts me
Is this it or is there something more

Life took away the calming shadow
Still the heart beats, in vain, in harrow
The tree might have fallen, it may be gone
The loved one still waits for the one

Living for the part of one
Patience thawed, still you been gone
Come back, cries the lonely soul
Come back to make it whole

You’ve been gone long enough
The road been torturous, it’s been tough
I am numb seeing the curious eyes
Tears died, time ceases to fly

Pretension is a friend of mine
It has become the soul, the spine
I wish, I could break the jinx
I pray, I could tame the sphinx

Affliction

I want to blow the pain out of my mind,
I want to flow like a wind of pine,
This lesion is too much to adhere,
Please god forgive me if I commit a crime.

The pleasure of blood keeps me haunting,
The pressure of the world keeps on mounting,
I tried to shut the voice of the child,
With a bullet in his throat and then in mine.

I may not be the man you think,
I may not be the lie you drink,
Sublime in the thoughts everyone,
This pain is the one thing I want to gun.